


Here's To New Beginnings

by nuttinonice



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bottom Yuri Plisetsky, Completed, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Rating: NC17, Smut, Top Otabek Altin, VictUuri, Victuri, Vikturi, Yaoi, Yaoi on Ice, Yuribek, otayuri - Freeform, viktuuri, yurabek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 14:02:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11945775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuttinonice/pseuds/nuttinonice
Summary: Basically Yuri's grandpa dies right before the grand prix finals which results in him being too distressed to skate and kind of throwing a grenade onto his career, but hey guess who's there to help? It's Otabek, fuckers! This supportive ass boyfriend is here and they're gonna work this shit on out. Also Victor and Yuuri are helpful pals.





	1. Chapter One

Yuri sat anxiously on the side of the rink, watching as the skaters before him performed. It was his second Grand Prix Finals as a senior, making him the defending champion, but as hard as he worked to get there, he’d never been less eager to skate. Just yesterday, his grandfather had a heart attack. He was in surgery right at that very moment and instead of being in the hospital like he should be, Yuri was forced to go here. If he could, he would have stayed in a heartbeat, but he had sponsors with money invested in him. A disqualification could end his career. Luckily, the finals were held in Russia and not far at all from the hospital either. It was the one blessing he had going for him.  
Yuri tugged anxiously at the sleeves of his jacket and smiled as Otabek walked over to him, coming right from the kiss and cry. He’d done amazing on his short program, attaining a score that would guarantee him a place on the podium. Yuri was proud of him, but he’d barely even been able to focus on watching him skate. The hospital was supposed to call Yakov if anything went wrong and not Yuri since he was only 17 and they had Yakov listed as a separate guardian in case something like this happened. If Yakov picked up the phone, Yuri would know something was wrong. Really wrong. He couldn’t stop glancing over to check.  
“Yura, you need to relax. Put this out of your head for just a little while. You’re on last, so you have time to calm down.” Otabek cooed, wrapping an arm around Yuri’s shoulders and squeezing. “He’ll be fine and I’ll go with you straight to the hospital the second you get your scores.”  
Yuri nodded and leaned his head on Otabek’s shoulder, still staring over at Yakov just in case.  
“Remember that nothing would make your grandpa prouder than you skating your best even when you’re worried sick. Don’t feel guilty, okay?”  
“Okay.” Yuri sighed although he hardly meant it. His grandfather was the only parent he’d ever had, making sacrifice after sacrifice so Yuri could follow his dream and now he could die. He didn’t know if he’d be able to take it without Otabek there to support him. They were going on a year of dating and Otabek had become family in their household, always helping out with groceries and housekeeping, staying overnight at least twice a week if not more. “I just feel sick.”  
“We’ll be done soon.” Otabek said as Chris took to the ice, the crowd roaring for him. “Is there anything I could get you?”  
Yuri shook his head, eyes still locked on his coach.  
“Stop watching him. You’re making yourself more nervous.”  
Yuri’s shoulders slumped and he turned to hide his face in Otabek’s neck. “I’m sorry for being so distracted. You were amazing today.”  
“I’m the last thing you need to focus on today. Don’t worry about me for a second.” Otabek pushed Yuri’s hair behind his ears and planted a firm kiss on the center of his forehead. He was always good at comforting him. He was never condescending, never belittling, just there. He knew when Yuri needed space and when he needed to be held and if there had ever been a time when Yuri needed someone to hold him, this was it. “Are you gonna be okay?”  
Yuri nodded and decided to just hug him, taking some deep breaths and inhaling the comforting scent of Otabek’s cologne. He always smelled so earthy. Like patchouli and rain. Part of that was all the fancy soap he always used and the cologne Yuri had given him on his birthday, but part of it was just Otabek and Yuri always liked the way he smelled. “Just stay with me until I’m up, okay?”  
“You got it.” Otabek said, squeezing him back. “You’re gonna be amazing. I know you are.”  
“Thanks Beka.” Yuri pulled back and glanced at Yakov once again, unable to resist. Still nothing.  
After Chris, came Yuuri Katuski and after him, came stupid JJ, before Viktor took to the ice as the last skater before Yuri. Yuri decided to look away and do his best to ignore the commentary on Viktor. He knew if he focused too much on him that he would psych himself out even further. Viktor’s score would be astronomical, but Yuri had enough elements to still podium if he pulled through.  
“Alright, you should get ready to go.” Otabek said, standing first and helping Yuri up too. “Put everything else out of your head.” He unzipped Yuri’s jacket and took it from him.  
“You’re right.” Yuri swallowed as he bent down to take the guards off his skates, handing those to Otabek as well. “I um… I think that I can-“ He glanced over his shoulder while he was speaking to check one more time if Yakov was on the phone and froze, his blood running cold when he saw his coach with his cell phone to his ear. He wasn’t smiling.  
Otabek followed his gaze and put a hand on Yuri’s shoulder to keep him from running over. “You stay here and get ready to go on the ice. I’ll see what happened and let you know when you get off. They could just be calling to say that he’s done and you’re free to visit.”  
Yuri felt his whole body tremble, desperate to run and see what was happening, but too terrified to move.  
“Stay right here.” Otabek instructed, setting Yuri’s jacket and skate guards down on the bench and walking over to Yakov.  
As Viktor finished his routine to roaring applause, Yuri watched Otabek approach Yakov with his heart pounding. He couldn’t hear a thing, but he knew Otabek was asking him what was going on and when Yakov answered him, he saw Otabek’s face fall hard, his shoulders slumping and his eyes immediately dashing back over to meet Yuri’s. No. Yuri thought, anger clenching in his gut. There was no way he’d die when Yuri was less than an hour away from getting back to him. He ignored Otabek’s advice and rushed over, stumbling in the skates and nearly tripping a dozen times in his haste. “YAKOV!” Yuri bellowed, his voice taking on a new deeper tone he hadn’t ever heard from himself. “Tell me right now!”  
Yakov put his phone in his pocket and looked at Yuri with cold eyes. “We can talk after you skate. Viktor’s coming off the ice. You have to go.”  
“TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!” Yuri screamed loud enough to hurt his throat and turn the heads of anyone nearby. He looked to Otabek in sheer desperation. “Beka, you need to tell me right fucking now. Don’t you dare-“  
Otabek glanced at Yakov and opened his mouth to try and say something reassuring, but his eyes welled and gave it away. “Fuck.” He swore. “Yuri, just-“  
“So he’s gone?” Yuri asked, a painful lump forming in his throat as he watched a tears well in the eyes of his usually stoic and collected boyfriend. His knees were first to go, wobbling under his weight and then his hands beginning to shake, chills running through him limb by limb when Yakov sighed and nodded his head.  
“Yuri I’m so sorry.” Otabek said, reaching out for him, but stopping when the commentators voice came over the intercom.  
“Skating next and last for the finals short program is defending champion, Yuri Plisetsky!”  
The crowd erupted and Yuri blinked his eyes. He’d missed it. The person who’d raised him from the age of four when his mother left had died and Yuri never got to say a word to him. He didn’t get to say that he loved him, that he was forever grateful for how much he’d sacrificed. He didn’t get to say anything. Not even a goodbye.  
“Yuri, you have to go.” Otabek croaked as he wiped his eyes. “Come on, I’ll help you get there.”  
Yuri felt such an overwhelming numbness that he said nothing back, letting Otabek take his hand and lead him to the edge of the ice.  
“This is all my fault for cracking. I never should have let you know.” Otabek sighed, still teary eyed as he gave Yuri one final hug. “Just do your best. I love you so much and I know you’re strong enough to do this. We’ll go to the hospital the second you finish.”  
Yuri’s arms hung limp at his sides until Otabek pulled away.  
“You’re running out of time, please go.” Otabek urged, looking out at the enormous crowd.  
Yuri’s mouth wobbled, but he nodded, leaving Otabek’s touch and skating out onto the ice. His feet felt like they weighed tons as he slid out to the center, his arms limp and his usually powerful legs feeling like quicksand. Grandpa…  
He held his arms out and cocked his hips in his starting pose, but when the music played, the first thought that struck him was that this was music he’d chosen because of his grandfather. This was his song. A Russian classical piece that he said had gotten him through hard times and Yuri had been so touched by his attachment to it that he’d promised to skate a routine to it.  
“Yuri!” Otabek shouted from the edge of the ice. “The music!”  
Huh? Yuri couldn’t hear a thing anymore over the panicked mumblings of the crowd. There was too much noise. Too many things happening at once, too much weight in his body dragging him down. Yuri put his hands over his ears and felt the tears finally break over their threshold, bringing him all the way to his knees in the middle of the ice as sobs racked his body. He didn’t get to say goodbye. He didn’t get to say fucking anything and now he was gone forever. He’d never even gotten to see him skate this routine, Yuri had made him fucking wait until he could watch him do it at his best.  
Yuri kept his hands over his ears and bawled, his hair falling over his face as he kneeled there, facing down towards the ice. It was all for nothing. What good was any kind of success if Grandpa couldn’t see it? What kind of a grandson was he, choosing a competition over Grandpa?  
A shadow fell in front of him and Yuri glanced up to see Otabek, looking at him with pain in his eyes and a hand out to help him. Yuri grabbed onto it and scrambled up, tears blurring his vision as he latched on to Otabek. “I didn’t get to say goodbye.” He sobbed, his small chest heaving against Otabek’s broad one. The music finally stopped and Yuri’s knees gave out again, the crowd falling silent.  
“Shh, shh I got you.” Otabek said, his voice calm again when he caught Yuri and stood him back up. “Let’s just get you off the ice. It’s okay.”  
Yuri nodded and wiped his eyes, trembling as Otabek put an arm around his waist and helped him skate back until they were on the edge of the rink. In the background, he vaguely heard a shocked voice on the intercom announcing his disqualification, but he was beyond caring.  
“Yurio!” Victor shouted, running barefoot towards them with his fiancée close behind. “What happened? What’s going on?”  
“Fuck off.” Yuri cried, burying his face back in the crook of Otabek’s neck. “Can’t you just leave someone alone for five fucking minutes?!”  
“He doesn’t mean it.” Otabek said to them, stroking one hand down Yuri’s back. “Nikolai didn’t make it.”  
Victor’s face fell, as did Yuuri’s. “Yuri, we’re so sorry…”  
“You’re just happy that you get a guaranteed gold.” Yuri hissed, ripping away from Otabek and turning on the two of them. “Are you fucking happy Victor?”  
“No, Yuri of course not. If we had known this was going to happen, we would have forfeited. This isn’t right.” Viktor blinked at him, reaching over to take his fiancé’s hand.  
“Is there anything we can do?” Yuuri asked. “The free skate is still tomorrow. Maybe they’ll let you skate your short program beforehand considering the circumstances.”  
“I don’t want the fucking charity.” Yuri glared with tears still running down his cheeks and every inch of him shaking.  
“Baby, they’re just trying to help.” Otabek said, coming up behind him and putting his hands back on his shoulders.  
His touch was all it took for Yuri to snap back out of the anger and start weeping again, his hands coming up to cover his face as Victor and Yuuri looked on. “I just threw everything away. Everything me and Grandpa worked for, fuck.”  
“There’s plenty of competitions left in the future. Forget about this one, you don’t need it.” Otabek said as Yakov came up to join them. “Could you guys give him a little space just for now? I’ll call later and update you.” He said to Victor and Yuuri, both of them nodding in understanding and leaving Yuri with his coach and Otabek.  
“I’m so sorry.” Yuri choked, looking over at Yakov. “I-I didn’t mean to-“  
“Don’t worry about a thing.” Yakov said. “Just answer a few things for me okay?”  
Yuri wiped his eyes and nodded, still clinging onto Otabek as he looked at his lifelong coach in fear.  
“If they give you the opportunity, answer me completely honestly, do you think that you could skate tomorrow?”  
Yuri opened his mouth to say yes, but his lower lip quivered and he knew that he couldn’t possibly. “No.”  
“Okay. Do you need a ride to the hospital, or do you need anyone to accompany you other than Otabek?”  
Yuri shook his head.  
“Are you officially forfeiting the Grand Prix Finals?”  
Yuri choked out a sob and nodded, feeling his stomach twist at the knowledge that his career could be destroyed by all of this.  
“I’ll take care of everything. Get changed, go to the hospital, call me or Lilia if there’s something you need.”  
“Thank you.”  
“No need to thank me.” Yakov put his hand on Otabek’s shoulder. “Can you take care of him by yourself?”  
“Yeah, I got him.” Otabek nodded, holding Yuri a little tighter. “Come on Yura, let’s get you to the locker room.”  
Yuri took a deep breath and agreed, holding onto Otabek’s hand like his life depended on it when they left the public part of the arena and went back to the locker room where their usual clothes were. “I’m sorry, Beka.” He swallowed as he peeled out of his outfit for the short program and pulled on a pair of jeans.  
“Don’t be. I’m sorry for pushing you to go out there. I just didn’t want to pressure you into giving up if that wasn’t what you wanted to do.” Otabek stepped out of his own skating outfit and stripped himself of the tights, getting his pants on before kissing both of Yuri’s cheeks. “I know that you’re beyond devastated right now. All I care about is making sure you’re okay.”  
“Thanks.” Yuri swallowed.  
“I’m so sorry I gave it away like that right before you went on the ice.” Otabek sighed, handing Yuri his shirt and helping him get it on since his hands were still shaking so hard. “I really didn’t expect that he’d pass.”  
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” Yuri let Otabek finish getting dressed then grabbed his stuff, his shoulders still shaking with tears as Otabek lead him out of the locker room back towards the lobby of the arena. He just wanted to stop crying. On top of the crippling grief, he felt humiliated and he was terrified about what this was going to do to his career, but no matter what he knew he couldn’t possibly skate tomorrow. They had a funeral to plan.  
“There’s gonna be press when we go through here, okay?” Otabek said, his hand resting on the small of Yuri’s back. “Just stay close to me. Is there anything at all you want me to answer for you?”  
“I-I don’t want people to think I broke down out there because of the pressure or because the competition got to me.” Yuri choked, fresh tears still rolling down his cheeks. “Can you just say what happened and try not to let anyone film me?”  
“Sure. Stay close, okay?” Otabek put a strong arm around Yuri’s shoulders and lead him through the double doors to the lobby.  
Immediately, they were swarmed by flashing cameras and Yuri turned to hide his face in Otabek’s neck, clinging to him with both arms.  
“Hey.” Otabek glared, his arm tightening protectively around Yuri. “I’ll answer a few questions on his behalf if all the cameras are put away.”  
Yuri squeezed him and kept his eyes closed to hold in tears as the flashing stopped.  
The first to speak was a young Japanese woman with a pen and paper, asking the most obvious question, which was why did Yuri break down like that?  
“Yuri’s grandfather suffered a heart attack yesterday and was in surgery today. Yuri decided to compete so as not to let down his sponsors, but unfortunately, Nikolai passed away during surgery and Yuri found out right before he went on the ice, so he had an understandable reaction that we hope the press will be respectful of.”  
Yuri could hear the heaviness in Otabek’s voice like he was close to tears himself and it meant the world that he was still keeping his composure and handling this for him. Yuri sniffled and pulled back, teary eyed and red in the face.  
“He’s not taking any questions himself.” Otabek said the second they saw the eyes of the reporter’s dart to Yuri. “We’re heading to the hospital right now, so please, be respectful and there will be more information soon. Come on, Yura.” He said in a much softer voice, leading him past all the people and towards the door. They’d driven there together in order get to the hospital right away, so Otabek lead him out to the parking lot and helped him into the car. “Are you okay?”  
Yuri shook his head and let out a soft little cry. “I feel so horrible. I-I miss him so much already and then I let everyone down like that a-and I know I make fun of them a lot, but I didn’t mean to be so mean to Victor and Yuuri, I just… Fuck, Beka why did this have to happen?”  
“I know, Baby.” Otabek said, pushing Yuri’s hair back behind his ear. There were tears in his eyes again too. “I’m so sorry. Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks. You didn’t let anyone down and Victor and Yuuri both know how much pain you’re in. Even Yakov of all people says it’s okay, so don’t worry about skating right now.”  
“Th-Thank you for handling the press.” Yuri sniffled. “And for coming to get me when I was stuck out there and for being here.”  
“That’s what I’m for.” Otabek kissed his cheek. “Buckle up. I’ll drive us straight there.”  
Yuri put his seatbelt on and shut the door while Otabek walked around to the driver’s side and got in. He was actually afraid to go to the hospital. He didn’t know how all of this stuff worked, or how he was going to pay for Grandpa’s funeral expenses… He didn’t even know how to access their finances.  
Otabek held his hand as he drove, running his thumb in soothing circles over the back of Yuri’s hand. “You should stay at my place tonight.”  
“Yeah.” Yuri sighed. “Can I borrow some things to sleep in and everything? I don’t want to go back to the apartment to pick anything up? Oh wait!” He looked at Otabek with big eyes. “We have to go and get Potya after the hospital.”  
“Okay. I’ll run in and get her and her food and all. We’ll keep her at my place for now.”  
“Is that gonna bother you?”  
“Of course not. I like your cat.”  
“Okay.” Yuri sighed.  
When they got to the hospital, Yuri got to talk to the surgeon. It wasn’t a very uncommon death. His grandfather had passed away during the operation without anything going wrong. He’d simply run out of time. They gave him the info for a grief counselor that Yuri tried refusing, but Otabek insisted on taking. There was more paperwork than he thought there’d be and he didn’t understand half of it.  
“Yuri, maybe we should ask someone else to handle this stuff. You’re in enough pain without having the burden of all this stuff.” Otabek said as they sat in a waiting room, filling out form after form.  
“No, I need to do it myself.” Yuri mumbled, his eyes burning as he went through line by line. He’d finally run out of tears and now he just felt empty. “Let me finish this part and we’ll take the rest home.”  
“What do you want for dinner?”  
“I don’t think I can eat right now.”  
“You should have something, Yuri. I’ll cook for us when we get back.”  
Yuri blushed a little at that. Otabek rarely cooked, but when he did, he was always really cute about it. He wore an apron and everything. “Can you make piroshkies?”  
“Will it cheer you up?”  
“A little.”  
“Then yes.” Otabek planted a kiss on Yuri’s cheek as he finished the paper he was working on then took it from him. “I’ll turn this in. Let’s just get you home.”


	2. Chapter Two

Yuri was just plain tired by the time they got back to Otabek’s, but he was grateful to be out of energy for crying. They picked up Potya and some extra clothes, Otabek driving him straight back to his apartment and helping him get settled in. They put his clothes in Otabek’s dresser, his toothbrush in the bathroom, and set up Potya’s food and water bowls in the kitchen.   
“You don’t have to do all this for me. I know you’re kind of hurting too.” Yuri said as he sat at Otabek’s kitchen table, watching him cook in that cute red apron he sometimes borrowed.   
“Well I was shocked by everything today and of course I’m sad.” Otabek sighed. “I loved Nikolai. He was always super accepting of me in your life, but I know what I’m feeling doesn’t even come close to what you are. I really feel better just trying to help you right now.”  
“Okay, just don’t feel like you have to take care of me just because this happened.”  
“Yuri.” He laughed. “I don’t know what you think I am, but I’ve been in love with you for years. This is what boyfriends are for. I’m doing this because I love you.” Otabek opened the oven and pulled out the piroshkies, Nikolai’s recipe of course. “Let these cool a little.”  
Potya walked up to Yuri’s chair and he smiled, picking her up and hugging her. “She likes your place. Usually she’s antsy anywhere other than home.”  
“She’s just calm because she’s with you.” Otabek said, placing a plate in front of him and kissing the top of his head. “I’m gonna go make some calls alright? Everyone’s worried about you.”  
Yuri grimaced, but gave a reluctant nod of approval. He still felt bad about accusing Victor and Yuuri of being selfish earlier, actually kind of embarrassed about it. He would yell at them a lot, but it was teasing and they all knew that. They were friends.   
Otabek walked off to the living room not too far away and sat on the couch to make the calls, Yuri listening in as he ate the piroshkies. Even with his heart in shambles, he still felt so lucky to be with him, especially as he listened in on the phone call, hearing Otabek reassure all of their friends that he was okay. He was a little surprised how many of them cared. Even Chris had apparently been texting Otabek, asking about him.   
He fed Potya a tiny bit off a piroshky and smiled when she whined for more. “We’re lucky to have him, aren’t we?” Yuri sighed, still listening to Otabek’s voice drifting in from the other room. Once the funeral was over and he got back on his feet, he should do something really nice for him.   
Yuri ate what little he could and carried Potya out to the living area the next time he heard Otabek end a conversation, curling up on the sofa next to him with his head in his lap. He loved that fucking couch. It was like felt and so soft and overstuffed that it was better than crawling into bed.   
“Hey you.” Otabek smiled, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “Did you eat enough?”  
Yuri nodded.   
“Feeling a little better?”  
“A tiny bit.”  
“That’s good. I have a little good news if it’ll make you feel better.”  
“What good news could there possibly be today?”  
“Well.” Otabek said as he put Yuri’s hair behind his ears. “Everyone wants to pitch in for the funeral expenses. Seriously, everyone. I didn’t even ask, they all just insisted. I think Victor went around and organized it, but still.”  
“Are they really?” Yuri’s heart lifted a little. He’d been so worried they wouldn’t have the money to give Grandpa a proper funeral. “They don’t have to do that.”  
“They want to.”  
“Why?”  
“Because people love you, Yura. Me and your grandpa aren’t the only ones.”   
Yuri’s heart sank a little at that. He really hadn’t thought everyone cared so much. “Beka?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Um… I know it’s early, but can we go to bed? You don’t have to sleep, but I just want you to be with me and I’m really tired. I think I’ll start getting really upset again soon if I don’t just go to sleep.”  
“Sure.”   
Yuri sat up and left Potya on the couch so she wouldn’t bother Otabek at night. He hadn’t slept over in a little while, but he loved Otabek’s bedroom. It was covered in music posters and his desk was full of soundboards and cables, his laptop in the center. He always thought it was so fucking cool that Otabek made his own music.   
Yuri changed into a new pair of boxers and took one of Otabek’s t-shirts before he climbed into bed. “Soft.” He sighed, pulling the silk sheets and the comforter up to his shoulders as Otabek changed into a pair of sweatpants. “You can watch TV if you want.”  
“Actually, I’m pretty tired too.” Otabek yawned as he slid in next to him. “Hey if you wake up in the middle of the night, wake me up alright? Don’t be upset all by yourself.”  
“Okay. Thank you so much for everything today. I don’t know if I’d be able to deal with this at all if I didn’t have you.” Yuri moved forward and snuggled into his side, resting his head on Otabek’s broad chest.   
Otabek curled his arms around him and kissed the top of his head, one hand sliding up the t-shirt to rest on the small of his back. “I just want you to get through this, Yura.”  
Yuri nodded and shut his eyes, trying hard to focus on anything but what had happened that day. He focused on how Otabek smelled, how smooth his skin was, how warm he felt being in bed with him.   
“Yuri?”  
“Yeah?”  
“You don’t have to answer right now, but um… do you want to move in with me now? I mean, you don’t have to, but I don’t know if you want to live by yourself after this.”  
Yuri’s heart throbbed. He didn’t expect Otabek to offer that. “You’d really let me live with you?”  
“Well don’t think of it as letting you. I want you to. I love sleeping with you at night and waking up to you and, well, you know, the privacy.” Otabek slid down the bed a little and leaned in to kiss Yuri’s lips, keeping his mouth closed and making sure not to sexualize it. He never initiated any kind of sex when Yuri was upset about anything. “Yura, I know that you have a hard time believing it, but I love you. I want to be here for you.”  
“Ugh Beka, I had just stopped crying.” Yuri blushed, his eyes welling up again. He loved when Otabek kissed him like that. “I’d love living here. Are you okay with Potya? I know moving a pet into an apartment can be annoying.”  
“Of course.” Otabek laughed. “You love that cat. She’s family then.”  
Yuri sniffled a little bit and pressed a soft kiss to Otabek’s jaw. If he wasn’t drained and feeling so depressed still, he’d probably ride his daylights out. “Thank you. I-I’m really glad we decided not to hide this relationship from Grandpa. He loved you.”  
“I’m glad too, Yuri.” Otabek said, hugging him close and nuzzling his nose against his soft blonde hair. “You remember when we had movie night with him and you fell asleep on the couch?”  
Yuri nodded.   
“While you were asleep, I asked him if he would be okay with it if you moved in with me when you turned eighteen.”  
“You did?” Yuri’s heart skipped. “What’d he say?”  
“He gave us his blessing.” Otabek smiled, his hand stroking lovingly up and down Yuri’s back. “He said as long as you wanted to and he also said as long as we wait a few more years, he’d be happy to see us get married.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me about this?”  
“I didn’t want to weird you out or pressure you or anything, but now I guess I just want you to know that he gave us that blessing before he passed.”  
“Beka…” Yuri’s mouth wobbled, so he hid his face in Otabek’s neck. “I’m really glad you talked to him like that. I-I wish this didn’t fucking happen. I can’t imagine getting married one day without him there.”  
“I know.” Otabek sighed. “It hurts.”  
“I-I think I should go to sleep before I wallow too much again. You have the free skate tomorrow night too.”  
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Wake me up if you need me.” Otabek pulled the blankets up a little higher and planted one more kiss on the top of Yuri’s head. “Get some rest.”  
Yuri shut his eyes and tried really hard to put everything out of his mind, focusing instead on the good things. Otabek would most likely win a medal tomorrow, maybe even gold. He really deserved that. If Grandpa had wanted to see them married and given his blessing then Yuri knew for sure in his heart that it was meant to be. It would be a few years at least, but he knew. Otabek was the one he’d be with forever even if they’d gotten together young. “Beka?” He whispered, his voice a little hoarse from crying.   
“Yeah?”  
“I love you too.”  
“I know.” Otabek laughed. “Thanks, Yura. I’m glad you love me.”  
You don’t know the half of it, Yuri thought as he closed his eyes again. I’ll make you proud again, Grandpa. I really will marry this one, one day.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First sex scene y'all hell yeaaaahh

Grief wasn’t easily slept off. Yuri woke up the next morning in an empty bed with the soul crushing knowledge that not only had he lost his grandfather, but he’d broken down crying in front of the entire world and forfeited one of the biggest competitions of his life. He’d probably lose every one of his sponsors.   
“Beka?” He mumbled, pushing himself up and glancing around. Where’d he go? Yuri pushed himself out of bed and rubbed his eyes as he left the bedroom, feeling a little relief when he heard Otabek’s voice coming from the kitchen.   
“I feel so guilty. You have no idea.”  
Yuri stopped and frowned, staying in the hallway to avoid intruding on him. What did Otabek have to feel guilty about?  
“If I didn’t give it away like that, he never would have broken down. He’s in so much pain already and now he has this to worry about. I’m just doing everything I can to cheer him up. I asked him about moving in and that went well, so I’m hoping that helped.”  
Yuri’s stomach tightened. Did Otabek ask him to move in just because he felt guilty?   
“I think I’ll be okay for tonight. I feel good about my free skate program, I’m just worried about Yuri. If he wants to stay home while I go skate, that’s fine. I don’t want to put him through anymore scrutiny in public you know?”  
Yuri rolled his eyes at that. There was no way he’d stay home when Otabek had such a good chance of winning a medal.   
“Well I’ll see you there later. I’m gonna go check on him.”  
Yuri listened until he was sure he’d hung up then walked out to meet Otabek in the kitchen. He didn’t want to give him any shit about what he’d said on the phone. Even if he was doing things out of guilt, Otabek had still been nothing but kind to him lately, so he decided not to let on that his feelings were hurt.   
“Hey.” Otabek said with a soft smile, walking up to kiss his forehead. “How are you feeling?”  
“I’m okay.” Yuri sighed, but he knew he looked like shit.   
“Did you get enough sleep? I made breakfast if you want it.”  
“Maybe in a little bit.” His heart felt even heavier. “I don’t have much of an appetite.”  
“Okay, just make sure you eat something before noon at least.”   
Yuri looked up at him blushed a little bit. His feelings were hurt that Otabek was being so nice out of guilt, but he just looked so cute in the mornings. His hair was all out of place and he was still wearing nothing but those sweatpants that Yuri knew he wasn’t wearing underwear underneath. “Hey um… Could we maybe go back to bed for a little? I really need something to distract me right now and you’ve been really sweet. C-Can you just um…” Yuri felt his face turn red, so he looked down. They’d been having sex for months, but he always had trouble initiating it.   
“Yura.” Otabek sighed as he reached forward to tuck his hair back behind his ears. “Do you really want to do something like that right now? I don’t know if that’s healthy.”  
“Please? I mean if you don’t want to, that’s okay, but I want to. I really need some stress relief.” Yuri really truly did. His shoulders were so tense he wondered if he’d be able to lift his arms by tomorrow. “Plus, after what happened yesterday, I just… I don’t have a lot of confidence right now.”  
Otabek’s expression softened and he flashed that gentle smile at him again, pressing his warm lips against Yuri’s cheek. “Okay, but tell me to stop any time you need to.”  
“You don’t have to try so hard right now, you know.” Yuri said, trying to say it without sounding bitter. “I’m happy just to have you around. Don’t try to be super boyfriend.”  
“But I like being super boyfriend. Come on, you like it too.” Otabek bent down and hooked one arm around Yuri’s knees and one around his torso to pick him up bridal style.   
“Beka!” Yuri laughed for the first time in days and wrapped his arms around Otabek’s neck as he was carried back towards the bedroom. “Don’t hurt yourself before tonight.”  
“You weigh ninety pounds, Yura.”  
“Shut up.” He smiled, feeling some of the weight lift from his heart as Otabek closed the bedroom door behind them and laid Yuri down on the sheets.   
“What do you want me to do?”  
“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”  
“I want to do what’ll make you feel good.”  
Yuri rolled his eyes. “Beka.” Otabek was such a service top. He wasn’t submissive, but he was always hyperfocused on pleasuring Yuri more so than himself. He gave a lot of blowjobs, always asked Yuri a thousand questions about how things felt and what he wanted. Of course, Yuri loved that, but sometimes he wished Otabek would just take the lead and fuck his brains out. “I just want to fuck, nothing crazy, or anything.”  
“Alright.” Otabek shrugged, opening the night stand drawer to pull out a condom and a nearly empty bottle of lube that he tossed onto the sheets next to Yuri.   
Yuri went ahead and took his clothes off, tossing them to the foot of the bed and shivering a little as Otabek dropped those sweatpants. He was definitely the hottest thing Yuri had ever seen, but also it was fucking Russia and he was suddenly freezing. “Come get on top of me, I’m cold.”  
“Aw, sorry.” Otabek said as he got onto the bed, crawling over on all fours until he was positioned right over Yuri, their noses an inch apart. “You look really adorable in the morning.”  
“You do too.” Yuri blushed, looking off to the side to avoid his gaze.   
Otabek started with his neck, dragging his lips over the sensitive skin and leaving a few light hickies around his collar. Yuri relished the feeling and tipped his head back to give him further access. This was exactly what he needed. Something else to think about, something to make him feel good about himself again. He was already hard, his smaller cock drawing wet circles on Otabek’s stomach. “I’ll take your mind off everything, alright?”  
Yuri gave a weak nod and pulled Otabek into a real kiss, needing to taste his lips. Maybe if he made Otabek feel really good, he would want Yuri to move in more than he just felt obligated to invite him. “Beka? I-I’m really desperate for you. Can you start with your fingers?”  
“Oh yeah, sure.” Otabek grabbed the condom and ripped it open with his teeth, a trick that made Yuri’s mouth water as he reached down and rolled it on. He took the lube next and flicked it open, pouring a generous amount onto his fingers before he moved off of Yuri to lie by his side.  
Yuri opened his legs for him, his face red as Otabek ran his finger around Yuri’s entrance. This part always felt so embarrassing, but Otabek used such a gentle and loving touch. Even when they were just having a quickie for fun, or when they’d had bad days and fucked hard just to give each other some release, Otabek never rushed prepping him.   
“Tell me if I hurt you, or if you change your mind about this.” Otabek said, leaning in to press a few wet kisses against Yuri’s jaw. “You know the benefit of you not competing is that it doesn’t matter how many hickies I give you now.”  
“That’s true.” Yuri laughed, turning his face towards Otabek as he felt the first finger push inside. Luckily, they’d finally reached the point where he didn’t experience much pain at all when they did this, so he could relax a lot more.   
“I love your laugh. I missed it these past few days.” Otabek nuzzled their noses together and added another finger, sliding them in and out, twisting them around to help Yuri stretch. “I’m about to make you feel so fucking good you have no idea.”  
“Since when are you so cocky? You don’t have the medal yet, you know.” Yuri teased, watching as Otabek slid down the bed a little. “What are you doing?”  
“You know what I’m doing.” Otabek pushed his fingers in deep and leaned over to put his mouth on Yuri’s nipple, swirling his tongue around it and carefully nibbling. Yuri’s toes curled. Stupid Otabek knew all the things that drove him insane.   
“Bekaaa.” Yuri whined, his back arching up. “Don’t do that, it’s too much.”  
Otabek pulled off for a moment to leave a hickey on Yuri’s chest, then went right back to dragging his tongue around his nipple, inserting another finger as he did it.   
“Fuckkk, Ota.” Yuri groaned, reaching down to touch himself. He usually tried not to during this phase to help himself last longer, but Otabek was making it impossible not to. “You tease me way too much.”  
Otabek sucked hard on it and a sob of pleasure flew out of Yuri’s mouth, his legs twitching.   
“Beka!” He tightened his grip on himself and threw his head back, putting his hands on Otabek’s shoulders to push him away from his chest. “I’m gonna cum if you don’t stop that.”  
“Sorry.” Otabek laughed, blushing as he pressed a few apology kisses to Yuri’s cheek. “I just love the way your voice sounds when you can’t control it.”  
“You’re just trying to embarrass me.” Yuri said with a roll of his eyes. “You’re such a douche in bed sometimes.”  
“Hush, I can already feel your confidence coming back. You haven’t made fun of me in days.” Otabek pulled his fingers out and leaned in to nuzzle his nose against Yuri’s. “Are you ready?”  
Yuri’s heart fluttered a little from the sweet look in Otabek’s eyes. Maybe he was being silly. Otabek might feel guilty, but Yuri knew deep down that they loved each other and Otabek wouldn’t ask him to do something as big as moving in just because he felt bad, would he? “Yeah, I’m ready.” He nodded, his expression softening again as Otabek moved on top of him, his arms positioned on either side of Yuri’s torso.   
“Wait, Beka.” Yuri said, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and leaning up to give him a real kiss. He started with just pressing their lips together, then gently licked Otabek’s mouth open. He wanted Otabek to feel everything that e was feeling. How grateful he was for him, how much love that he felt even with all the hurt weighing him down. They forgot about sex for a moment and just kissed, Otabek’s hand coming up to cup Yuri’s face and their tongues slid against each others. “I love you.” He murmured when they finally parted, planting one final kiss on the side of Otabek’s nose before he relaxed back against the sheets and hooked his legs over Otabek’s hips.   
“I love you too, Yura.” Otabek said, looking at him with such kind eyes. Yuri could feel himself melting already.   
Yuri bit his lip as Otabek started to push himself in, taking his time as always.   
“Am I hurting you?”  
“No, keep going.”  
Otabek nodded and kept pushing forward, easing himself all the way inside then stopping to give Yuri a moment to adjust.   
Yuri rolled his hips and took a deep breath, trying to relax his muscles. Otabek was a lot bigger, so it took a little while for him to get used to it. They actually hadn’t fucked in a while because they were always afraid of Yuri being sore for a competition, so he was really pining for it.  
“You look beautiful.” Otabek said, pressing their foreheads together. “Seriously you have no idea.”  
Yuri’s heart thumped and he looked away to try and hide his expression.   
“I mean that.” Otabek said, licking a stripe up Yuri’s neck as he started to rock his hips back and forth.   
Yuri whimpered and reached over to grab one of the spare pillows. “Wait one second.” He lifted himself up and put the pillow under his hips, so Otabek could get a better angle.   
“You good?”  
Yuri nodded and put his legs back around him, gasping when Otabek thrusted into him. “Fuck.”  
“Tell me where, Baby.”  
“U-Up a little bit more.”  
Otabek shifted and angled himself a little bit higher before rocking back and forth.   
“Nnn… B-Beka.” Yuri whined. They’d found the angle, so Otabek was hitting his spot dead on with every push of his hips.   
“Don’t hold back.” Otabek reached down and wrapped his hand around his cock, tugging on him in time with his thrusts.  
Yuri pushed back against him and took Otabek’s advice, letting the moans tumble out of his mouth as they came. He was usually self conscious about the way he sounded. His voice got all high pitched and he sounded like such a girl, but when Otabek hit his spot especially hard, Yuri cried out in that voice he hated and Otabek moaned in response. That made his heart skip. Otabek was always pretty quiet and composed. “Do that again.”  
Otabek’s head fell against Yuri’s shoulder and groaned, bucking forward a little harder. “Yura.”  
“Beka.” He responded in a breathy voice.   
Otabek moaned under his breath and kept his face hidden in Yuri’s neck.   
“Let me see you.” Yuri said, pushing Otabek’s shoulders up a little.   
Otabek lifted his head and Yuri’s heart stomach flipped. His face was all red and his eyes were half lidded and full of desire. Yuri hadn’t thought about it before, but Otabek always kind of hid his face when they had sex and he hadn’t really seen what he looked like aroused. “We haven’t done this lately, I’m just…” Otabek blushed even harder and rolled his hips. “Fuck, you’re so tight and I’m all excited about you moving in. I-I might not last long.”  
So Otabek actually was genuinely excited to live together after all? Yuri just kissed him and started to push back harder, twisting his tongue around Otabek’s as he slid one hand down to his ass, grabbing it and pressing down hard to tell him he could go faster, deeper. Yuri felt so fucking full and he loved that feeling of just being completely filled up by Otabek.   
Otabek groaned and turned his head to bite on Yuri’s neck at the same time he bucked forward and that just fucking wrecks him.   
“Aah!” Yuri cries out, his head tipping back and his back arching up. “Beka!” His thighs started to twitch and he whimpered that he was close, pushing himself desperately back against Otabek’s cock, feeling how incredibly hard it was inside him. “Beka, I-I’m gonna cum. I-I can’t… Hhh.”  
Otabek speeds his thrusts and gives Yuri one more kiss on the lips before his mouth falls open in his own string of moans and they press their foreheads back together. “Yura.” He breathes. “I’m there. I-I’m right there, say my name.”  
Yuri felt his own orgasm fast approaching and had no problem obliging with that. “Otabek!” He cried out, his toes curling and his eyes squeezing shut as he got closer and closer.   
“Fuck.” Otabek gasped, his hips bucking hard as he came into him, the sound enough to push Yuri over the edge too.   
“A-Ahh!” Yuri sobbed when he came into Otabek’s fist, trembling as they moved against each other to ride it out. Fuck, he felt so good. This was exactly what he needed and he felt so much better about moving in now that he’d seen Otabek looking at him with all of that love and desire in his eyes. Fuck, he loved him so much. “Beka.” He said when he finished, falling limp against the sheets, tearing up from all of the emotion swelling in his chest.   
“Yeah?” Otabek breathed, still coming down as he reached down to pull himself out.   
“I… I-I um…” Yuri’s lower lip trembled and Otabek’s eyes widened.   
“Did I hurt you? What’s wrong?” Otabek panicked, climbing off of him and cupping Yuri’s face in his hands. “I’m sorry, I thought that you were-“  
“Beka, I’m fine. I-I’m just… I-I’m just really happy that I’m with you and I feel guilty being happy right now, but at the same time it’s breaking my heart that Grandpa’s never going to see me marry you.” Yuri sniffed, throwing his arms around Otabek’s shoulders and squeezing.   
“Aw, Yura.” Otabek sighed, hugging him back. “He’ll be watching. Better place, you know? Plus, he knew before he died that me and you were in love. He knows. Don’t worry about those things.”  
Yuri blinked the tears back and just hugged him. “We should get to the arena early, so let’s start getting ready. I-I need to talk to Viktor and everyone else about the funeral arrangements if they’re going to be pitching in.”  
“You want to hop in the shower with me?”  
“I don’t know, aren’t you getting a little tired of me?”   
“I could never be tired of you. Come on, I’ll do your hair all nice afterwards.” Otabek pressed a kiss to his cheek and climbed out of bed, gesturing for Yuri to follow him. “We’re gonna walk in there today looking hot as fuck and the press is going to forget about everything except what an absolute heart throb Yuri Plisetsky is.”  
Yuri rolled his eyes, but he smiled as he got out of bed. “I think you’re under the impression you’re better at doing my hair than you actually are.”


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this one's a little too long in comparison to the others

Otabek was a godsend, doing absolutely everything he could to keep Yuri distracted and happy. They spent an hour in the shower because Otabek wouldn’t shut up, telling Yuri bad joke after bad joke, all the funny stories he could think of, tickling him whenever he turned his back. He washed his hair for him and Yuri didn’t look over the sacrifice Otabek was making by putting his nerves about the Grand Prix aside just to make Yuri happy.   
After the shower, they both chose their outfits for that night and Otabek insisted on doing Yuri’s hair.   
“Beka, this isn’t going well.” Yuri laughed as Otabek tried to create the braids he often wrapped around the sides of his head.   
“Mmf, shh… Let the master work.” He mumbled with bobby pins in his mouth. “It’s a work in progress.”  
Yuri sighed and put his hands on the sink while he watched Otabek work in the bathroom mirror. It was really cute that Otabek had learned how to do his hair. He wasn’t too bad at it either, it just took him a couple of tries.   
“There, how’s that?” Otabek asked after neatening up the braid a little and tightening Yuri’s ponytail. He put his hands on Yuri’s small waist then kissed the side of his neck. “Because I think you look pretty good.”  
Yuri turned his head to inspect the braid and smiled. “Yeah, it’s good.” He tilted his head back to press a little kiss on Otabek’s cheek. “Thank you. Are the hickies covered?”  
Otabek tugged up the collar of Yuri’s turtle neck a little bit and nodded. “You’re fine. You look good in this outfit.”  
Yuri looked down at himself and shrugged. He did like it. Just simple all black, a turtle neck and tight jeans. It made him look really skinny and plus, he was in mourning. It didn’t feel right to wear his usual wardrobe. “I have to finish the paperwork and drop it off at the hospital before we go.”  
“Do you want to go get lunch first? You still haven’t eaten today.”  
“Yeah actually lunch sounds good.”  
“I’ll take you to your favorite place.” Otabek said, wrapping his arms around Yuri’s waist and kissing him on the cheek. “We’ll keep your mind off of everything.”  
**  
Otabek helped Yuri finish the rest of the paperwork and they dropped it off at the hospital before going out to lunch. Yuri’s heart was heavy again, but he figured that was a feeling he would have to deal with for a long time. With Otabek, it was manageable. When Yuri’s stomach started to feel sick and he started to think about everything, there was Otabek holding his hand, or telling him a stupid joke to bring his smile back. He felt better again when they sat down to lunch at his favorite café in a cute table by the window. French food was his favorite and it was one of the only places in town that had anything but heartless Russian cuisine.   
Otabek ordered for him, knowing that Yuri was feeling shy and they held hands across the table.   
“You seriously look so adorable.” Otabek smiled at him. “I love when your hair is up. Your face is pretty.”  
Yuri blushed a little and gave Otabek’s hand a squeeze. “You don’t have to-“ He heard the iPhone sound effect of a camera snapping and shut his mouth, looking out at the other tables. He hadn’t noticed before, but almost everyone was staring at him, a few of them taking obvious photos of him with their phones even if they were trying to be subtle about it. He let go of Otabek’s hand and shrunk back, his stomach turning again. Was he this much of a pariah already?   
“Try to ignore them.” Otabek sighed, glaring at a young girl a few tables down, shamelessly taking pictures with the flash on and everything.   
Yuri crossed his arms over his chest and kept his eyes on his lap, his eyes welling. Had he disgraced himself this badly yesterday? Was his reputation as one of the world’s top skaters already so far gone that he’d become a freak? He knew this was different than being ambushed by fans. Fans would ask for photos, stare at him with crazy grins and wide eyes, not look at him with pity in their eyes. Every time he glanced at one of the people staring at him, he saw disappointment.   
“Are you okay?”  
Yuri swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head, wishing he had his hair to cover his face.   
“Yura…”  
His mouth wobbled. “I guess this is my life now, yeah? I’m a freak.”  
“Don’t say that about yourself.”  
“I was stupid to think anyone would have respect for me after last night.” Yuri sighed, blinking back tears. He really had thrown it all away. He’d been a world record holder, the pride of Russia, and now he’d embarrassed himself beyond repair. He’d probably never come back from this. Yuri blinked back the tears and willed himself not to do it. He couldn’t cry again, not in front of these people. Grandpa raised him strong. He was supposed to be a fighter, not a loser who couldn’t stop crying in public.   
“Let me go talk to the manager. This isn’t right.”  
“Don’t.” Yuri croaked, desperately trying to hold back his tears.   
“Baby, this is harassment.”  
“Beka, please I’m already so embarrassed.” He sniffled, biting down hard on his lower lip to try and hold it in.   
“God dammit.” Beka swore, running a hand through his hair.   
Yuri’s stomach felt queasy. Otabek was angry. That didn’t make him feel any better at all. Otabek could be a little bit scary when he was really angry. He was so stoic and composed all of the time that it was super jarring when he was mad. Yuri had never been on the receiving end of Otabek’s real anger, but he’d seen other people there. He didn’t like it. It actually kind of scared him.  
“You’re not a fucking animal in a zoo. What the hell is wrong with people?”  
“I-It’s fine.”  
“It’s not fine. You look like your heart’s broken.” Another camera flash went off from the table behind him and Otabek scraped his chair back, whipping around and ripping the cell phone out of a teenage girls hand. “He’s a fucking person!” Otabek snapped, dropping the phone to the floor with a crash before turning to face the rest of the restaurant that had been shocked into silence by the outburst. “He’s in mourning! Can you people have some fucking respect?!”  
“Beka stop.” Yuri cried, hiding his face in his hands. “Stop, I want to go home.” He was shaking again. He didn’t like seeing Otabek like this. He wanted to go back home and see the sweet boy he’d woken up with.   
“We can’t just let them-“  
“Please stop.” Yuri begged, tears rolling down his cheeks as he looked up at him. “I-I want to go home.” Everyone was staring at them, taking more pictures, filming them. He couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t stand the anger in Otabek’s eyes, the horrible feeling of being so vulnerable and exposed in public.   
“Excuse me? You need to leave.” The manager glared, a young looking blonde woman in a green apron.   
“Are you kidding?!” Otabek gaped, gesturing out at the tables behind them. “They were all harassing my boyfriend, why are we-“  
“Beka!” Yuri cried, standing up and grabbing him by the wrist. “Please. Let’s just go.”  
The manager nodded in agreement and Otabek’s face fell a little as he looked at Yuri with more concern in his eyes. “O-Okay.” He agreed, letting Yuri turn around and drag him out of the café and back onto the street. “Are you okay?”  
“Of course I’m not! Why would you do that?” Yuri cried, ducking into the alley between the café and the neighboring bookstore to get out of view. “I’m trying to lay low and you make a scene like that?”  
“What?” Otabek blinked, following him into the alley. “Yuri, I… I-I was just trying to protect you.”  
“You made everything worse!” Yuri yelled, a hot ball of anger concentrating in his gut. He’d never yelled at Otabek before, but he was so fucking upset that he couldn’t hold it back. “This is going to be all over fucking Twitter and everything now. Why would you humiliate me like that? Aren’t things bad enough already?”  
“Yura, I’m so sorry, I thought… I-I thought I was doing the right thing.”  
“You know I can’t stand it when you act stupid and angry like that.” Yuri glared. “You fucking know that and if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have started crying again like a fucking idiot in front of all those people. Do you have any idea how over things really are for me now?” He didn’t truly mean the words that were coming out of his mouth, but he couldn’t stop them. He felt livid. He was so fucking angry at everything. Nothing had been fair the past few days. Grandpa was gone. His skating career could be over forever.   
“Yuri, I never meant to hurt you in any way. I’m so sorry, please-“ Otabek stepped forward to hug him, but Yuri reacted on instinct and pushed him back too hard, making him tumble back against the hard brick wall.   
“Leave me alone.” Yuri sobbed. “Fuck you. You just made everything so much fucking worse.”  
“Yuri, stop I didn’t mean to.” Otabek said desperately, reaching out again as Yuri stepped back. “Yura-“  
“I hope you fucking fall today.” He hissed, feeling every single restraint inside of him break. “The only reason you even have a shot at the stupid podium is because I’m not there and you fucking know it.” Yuri’s chest was heaving with anger, his hands balled into fists. He could feel the cruelty of his words as they left his mouth, but he couldn’t stop himself. He felt hate in his heart for the first time since he was a child and his mother had left him out of sheer selfishness. He didn’t feel this hate for Otabek. He felt it for the world, but Otabek was right there in front of him.  
“Yuri…” Otabek looked at him with wide eyes, his mouth wobbling. “H-How could you say something like that? I was only trying to help.” A sob escaped his lips and he hugged himself, looking down at the dirty ground to avoid Yuri’s cold blue eyes. “I thought you actually believed in me.”  
Yuri stopped cold, his anger fading almost instantly. Otabek was crying? He’d never even seen him cry before other than when he welled up at the Grand Prix yesterday. That had just been him getting a little teary eyed. This was him really, truly crying and it broke Yuri’s heart. He looked devastated.   
“I would never say something so horrible to you.” Otabek choked. “I know how much pain you’re in, but… I-I can’t believe you would ever say something like that to me. I thought we loved each other. That was such a cruel fucking thing to say to me. Do you have any idea how nervous and terrified I am of skating tonight and I haven’t brought it up for a single second to keep from worrying you.” He was really crying now, shoulders shaking, tears cascading down his dark cheeks. Yuri didn’t even know what to say.  
“Beka, I…” Yuri blinked. “I-I didn’t mean that.” What the fuck was wrong with him? “Beka?”  
Otabek looked up at him with those wet pink eyes and Yuri’s heart shattered. How could he hurt someone that he loved so much?   
“Beka, I’m so sorry.” Yuri choked, rushing forward to hug him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that at all. That was horrible. I-I just felt so angry all of a sudden and it just came out. Please don’t cry. I swear to God none of that was true.”  
Otabek hugged him back like his life depended on it and sobbed onto his shoulder, the tears quickly soaking through the sleeve of Yuri’s shirt. “I-I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I just wanted to help.”  
“You didn’t embarrass me. I was just upset already a-and I get really scared when I see you angry because it’s not like you. Everything just piled up all at once, I’m so fucking sorry Beka.” Yuri held him even tighter and cried everything out. He knew passers by could probably hear them, but he didn’t give a shit about that anymore. He’d hurt the only person he loved. “Do you hate me?” He whimpered as Otabek’s tears started to ease up. “I’m so sorry for saying that. I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”  
Otabek lifted his head up and shook it, his eyelashes all clumped together from the tears. “No. I’m sorry I scared you.”  
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. I-I’m the one who’s sorry.” Yuri brought his hands up and wiped away Otabek’s tears, leaning their foreheads together as he looked into his eyes. “I didn’t mean a single word of that. You’ve worked so fucking hard and you’ve come so far. You would be on the podium tonight whether I skated or not. You’re going to be amazing. I believe in you. I swear to God, Beka, I believe in you so much.”  
“Do you really think that?”  
Yuri’s heart sank again knowing he’d made Otabek doubt himself after how hard they worked to bring up his confidence. “Of course I do. Beka, you almost broke a record with your short program yesterday.” He got up on his toes and gave him a kiss on his forehead, his hand stroking lovingly up and down his back. “Katsuki and Viktor don’t stand a chance against you tonight.”  
Otabek laughed a little bit at that and he loosened his arms around Yuri, hugging him with a little more tenderness as he nuzzled their noses together. “Are you sure you’re okay to come tonight?”  
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Yuri stayed on his toes and pulled Otabek into a kiss, pressing his lips firmly against the other boy’s. It was a little slimy from both of them crying so much, but neither of them cared and they both pulled away with pink cheeks. “I’ll make this up to you, okay?” Yuri said, his hands still cupping Otabek’s face. “I promise.”  
“Okay.” Otabek smiled, pressing one more kiss against Yuri’s cool cheek. “It’s a little cold out, we should go somewhere. I’m sorry about the café. Do you want to go somewhere else?”  
“Wherever you want.” Yuri nodded, wiping his face some more. As awful as he felt for being so mean, he did feel like an enormous weight had been lifted. He’d gotten all the frustration out even if it hadn’t been in the healthiest way. “We can um… We can get ice cream after if you want to? I know you love that place a few blocks down.”  
“I’d like that.” Otabek nodded, sniffling a little as he let his hands fall to Yuri’s hips. “Hey, if you’re gonna be there tonight, come send me off to the ice okay? I know you always think you’re getting in the way, but I want to see you before I do this free skate. I’m scared out of my mind.”  
“Sure. Whatever you need.” Yuri smiled, pressing a shy kiss against his chin. He felt even worse about what he’d said, knowing how ambitious Otabek’s routine was today. He’d planned three quads, which was high for him, and a lot of seriously difficult spins. Spins weren’t much of a big deal for Yuri, but Otabek’s biggest problem was lacking flexibility, so he needed to prove to the judges that wasn’t the case anymore. They’d spent the entire off season doing yoga, so Yuri could help get more flexible in time to pull off everything he had planned. “Don’t be stressed though. You’re gonna be amazing.”   
“Thank you.” Otabek sighed, pulling him into one last hug. “That means everything, coming from you.”  
Yuri’s heart melted and he hugged him back, each of them holding onto the other for a good long time until they felt like everything was okay again. Yuri decided that for lunch, they should go to Otabek’s favorite place, so he took him a few blocks down to the Kazakh restaurant they went to often. When Otabek was upset, or nervous, he always got a little home sick and the food helped a lot with that. Plus, he got super excited when he got to teach Yuri about anything from his home country.   
The restaurant was a little hole in the wall place too with just a couple of booths, so they got their food and sat down in the back where they could have their privacy.  
“Here, try this. My mom used to make it all the time.” Otabek grinned, holding out his fork, so Yuri could take a bite.   
“Aw hey you made this for me one time.” Yuri smiled, taking the bite. It was a little spicy for him, but he liked it. He liked everything that made Otabek happy. “I love it.”  
“Yeah, it’s like my favorite.” Otabek sighed, leaning his head on his fist. “You know I’m actually glad that we had that fight. We’ve never had one like that before. I don’t think you’ve even seen me cry.”  
“Yeah, but I feel horrible.” Yuri sighed. “I have no idea why I said that stuff.”  
“You’re going through a lot right now. It’s okay.”  
“It’s not okay, but I’m glad you’re not mad at me.” Yuri hooked his ankle around Otabek’s under the table. “Do you think I should talk to the press tonight? I don’t know if that’ll help or make things worse.”  
“If you think you can handle it, maybe you should.” Otabek shrugged. “I’m sure your fans are worried sick.”  
“Will you stand with me if I take a few questions?”  
“Yeah of course.”  
They finished lunch and walked back up to the ice cream place, staying there for a little while until they both felt relaxed and it was time to go. After that fight and the subsequent making up, they were both feeling especially clingy. They swung by the apartment and picked up Otabek’s skates and his outfit for the competition. Yuri was a little excited to see him in it again. His free skate was to a pretty heavy rock song, so his outfit was this sleek back piece that clung to his body. It was sleeveless too and Yuri loved how his arms looked in it.   
On the car ride there, Yuri stuck close to him, one hand rested on his thigh the whole way until they arrived and he got out of the car to carry his bag for him.   
“You don’t have to do that.”  
“I don’t mind.” Yuri shrugged, shutting the trunk and running up to grab his hand. They would be seeing the press as soon as they walked in and he was prepared to answer a few questions. “Stay close to me. I hate doing press stuff, but I want my fans to know I’ll be back next season.”  
“I got you.” Otabek smiled, leaning over to kiss Yuri’s cheek. “If they’re too pushy, or if you feel like you’re getting upset, just walk away and look at me if there’s something you need me to answer for you.”  
“Okay.” Yuri took a deep breath and together, they walked through the parking lot.   
Cameras met them immediately when they walked in, just as they would meet all of the other skaters, but this time, Yuri kept his head up and faced them, leaning into Otabek’s touch for comfort. At first there was a barrage of questions and he was almost overwhelmed, but Otabek squeezed his hand and he was able to take another deep breath.   
“One question at a time please. We don’t mind answering a few before Otabek goes to get ready.”  
They quieted down a little and one reporter stepped forward first. “Is this the end of your season?”  
“Yes.” Yuri said. “Not because of my emotional state, but because there’s a funeral to plan and a lot of financial things that need to be figured out. I also need to talk with all of my sponsors to know what my needs will be to continue competition.”  
“Will you be back next season?”  
“I will be.”  
Another reporter raised his hand and looked towards Otabek. “How are you feeling about competing tonight with Yuri forfeited?”  
“We’ve talked a lot about it.” Otabek smiled, turning to plant a kiss on Yuri’s forehead which triggered a lot more camera flashes. “We both feel great. I’ll skate my best tonight and whatever happens, happens. Yuri will be back next season to put the rest of us to shame, so might as well take the chance now right?”  
They all laughed and Yuri’s heart warmed at how smooth Otabek was with this sort of thing.   
“Yuri, will you be living and competing on your own at just 17 now that you don’t have a guardian?”  
“Actually, um…” Yuri blushed a bit and smiled up at Otabek. “I’m moving in with him just a few blocks down from where I already live. I’ll still be competing under Yakov, stationed in St. Petersburg.”  
That one caused a lot of camera flashes and mumbling, but Yuri was glad to put that out there. He was proud to be taking such a big step with Otabek.   
“Is there anything you want to tell your fans?”  
“Yeah.” He sighed, glancing down to avoid all of their eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m just as disappointed in myself as everyone else is and I promise to be back next season better than ever after this. Nothing is over.” He let them all take a few more pictures, then turned to Otabek, cocking his head towards the locker rooms. “I think I’m done, you want to go get ready?”  
Otabek nodded.  
“U-Um, that’s all I’m going to be answering today, but I’ll put a press release out in a few weeks with updates about my sponsors and next season.” He waved goodbye and let Otabek tug him through the crowd off to the more private area of the arena. Yuri actually felt a lot of relief getting all that stuff out there. Now he didn’t have to worry too much about the press and all. They had their answers and it sounded like none of them had seen or heard about the incident at the café yet.   
They walked into the locker room together where Victor and Yuuri were just finishing getting ready.   
“Yuri?” Victor was the first to say, walking up to him in full costume and barefoot. “Hey, how is everything?”  
“Um…” Yuri sighed and let go of Otabek’s hand, giving the bag to him so he could go ahead and get ready while they talked. “I-I wanted to say I was sorry for snapping at you guys yesterday. I was just kind of in shock and I was humiliated after what happened.” His shoulders slumped. “Otabek told me that you guys want to help pay for the funeral. I-I won’t have any money of my own until I sit down with Grandpa’s lawyer, which will take a little while, so… Thank you.”  
“Don’t worry about the money. Everyone wants to help you.” Victor stepped forward to hug him and for the first time in his life, Yuri hugged him back. Sure Victor was a little bit of a dick and he was obnoxious as hell with all the romance stuff, but he had always been a mentor to him. “It’ll be okay.”  
Yuuri came up by Victor’s side when they were done hugging and waved, not trying to force any physical contact Yuri didn’t initiate himself. “Are you feeling better?”  
“Yeah.” Yuri nodded, stepping forward to hug him too. “If you two ever tell anyone I hugged you, I’m putting thumb tacks in your skates.”  
“Fair enough.” Yuuri laughed, hugging him back hard for a second before pulling back and gluing himself to Victor’s side. “Are you doing okay? Do you have some place to stay? Because you know Victor’s place is huge. You can always stay over.”  
“Actually uh…” Yuri glanced over to where Otabek was getting dressed and blushed a little at the sight of him nearly naked. “I’m moving in with Beka.”  
“Really?!” Victor beamed. “That’s fantastic, good for you guys.”  
“Yeah, well let’s see if I drive him nuts within a week.” Yuri shrugged, still glancing a little over Viktor’s shoulder at Otabek. Fuck he just looked so good today.   
“Well I’ve got more good news for you that Yakov told me to pass along. You know him, he doesn’t want to get all emotional on you, but he said he wants to waive his coaching fees for here on out.”  
“What? Yakov said that?”  
“It was really sweet.” Yuuri laughed. “He’s actually kind of soft. It was nice to see.”  
“Well you’re one of his best skaters, next to me of course, so you make him plenty of money already. He doesn’t want to put any burdens on you after this.” Victor said, wrapping his arm around his fiancé’s waist. Yuri would have rolled his eyes if he had the energy.   
“I’ll have to go thank him later then. Also um…” Yuri stepped closer and lowered his voice. “Can you guys say something encouraging to Otabek before he goes on the ice? This is his first chance at the finals podium and his free skate is really hard.”  
“You two are so adorable.” Victor grinned. “We will.”  
“Thanks. I’ll see you guys later, okay?”  
“Go be with your man. We’ll see you around.”  
Yuri did roll his eyes at that one and walked past them to sit next to Otabek. He was fully dressed now in that tight black outfit, the tights clinging to his hips and, well, groin. His arms looked even bigger than usual with the sleeveless cut.   
“Are you guys all good?” Otabek asked as he stepped into his skates and started lacing them up.   
“Yeah everything’s fine. Are you feeling good?”  
“Just a little nervous.” Otabek tied the skates tight, then leaned over to kiss Yuri on the lips, holding him there a little longer than usual. “Don’t forget to send me off, okay?”  
“I’ll be right there, Beka.” Yuri kissed him again on the tip of his nose and smiled, reaching up to fix his hair a little bit. “You look great. You’re gonna be awesome.”  
“Thanks.” Otabek sighed as Viktor and Yuuri finished getting ready and left the locker room. “I think I’m ready to go warm up.”  
“Here.” Yuri took his jacket out of the bag and handed it to him. “Don’t get too cold, you’ll stiffen up. Want me to help you stretch?”  
“Yeah that’d be nice.”  
“Okay, stand up.” Yuri got up and waited for Otabek to do the same before turning his back. They did a lot of stretch routines together, so they had all kinds of cute partnered exercises. This one was his favorite. They stood back to back and both bent forward, Yuri easily folding himself all the way down, then reached their arms around to wrap around each other’s legs. Yuri was always able to wrap himself around Otabek without a problem, but usually Otabek’s hands could just barely grab Yuri’s thighs. He liked it though. It was cute and their eyes always met through their legs when they were upside down. “How’s that?” Yuri laughed as Otabek pushed himself to try and stretch forward. “Don’t hurt yourself, just warm up.”  
“Why do you have to be such a ballerina?” Otabek sighed as he let go and stood back up.   
Yuri stood up and turned around to face him, taking one of his legs up, so he could set his foot on Otabek’s shoulder. “No idea what you’re talking about.”  
“You’re mean.” Otabek smiled, holding Yuri’s ankle up as he leaned in to kiss him. “I like that you’re joking around again.”  
“I just feel good around you.” Yuri took his leg down and took a step back, bending forward and planting his hands on the floor. “Follow me now, we need to get everything nice and loose.”  
They stretched together for a good fifteen minutes. Yuri felt good being of some kind of positive use and Otabek was back to being really cute and silly with him. He took Otabek’s spare jacket, so they were matching and so he had Otabek’s last name on his back. It was kind of adorable.   
“Here.” Yuri handed him his skate guards and let Otabek lean on him for balance while he put them on. “Feel ready? You’re on in the middle, so you’ll have plenty of time.”  
“Yeah I’m ready. Let’s go join everyone else.” Otabek grabbed Yuri’s hand and laced their fingers together as they walked out of the locker room.   
Yuri was a little nervous on Otabek’s behalf. He knew he’d be crushed if he didn’t podium after all their hard work. They met with all the other skaters a few minutes before the ice opened and walked out all together. He cringed a little bit at the roaring applause, not really in the state of mind for so much noise, but he kept his head up anyways and squeezed Otabek’s hand. They met up with Otabek’s coach first, so he could get a little pep talk, then the ice was open for warm ups.   
“Don’t do anything crazy during warm ups.” Yuri said, taking Otabek’s jacket from him and setting it on the bench. “You’ll get psyched out.”  
“Yeah.” Otabek nodded, pulling Yuri into one more hug. “I’ll see you again in a minute.”  
“Don’t worry about me, just go warm up.” Yuri smiled as he hugged him back. Even before the biggest competition of his life, Otabek was still doting. “I’ll be right here to wait with you when you’re done.”  
“Okay.” Otabek breathed, pressing his hand into the small of Yuri’s back to hold him closer.   
“Beka.” Yuri laughed. “Come on, you have to go.”  
“I know, I know.” Otabek finally pulled back and gave him a peck on the lips before he turned around to step on the ice. Yuri stationed himself at the partition and leaned on that as he watched everyone. There was a little bit of jealousy gnawing at him, but even if he had skated today, it would only be to come in dead last. Victor and Yuuri were being lovebirds even on the ice, skating next to each other, watching each other jump, even doing a few lifts. He wished he was out there to give Otabek that kind of support. Maybe he should have skated just to be there for Otabek…   
Yuri hopped up on the partition and sat with his legs dangling over the ice so he could wave to Otabek whenever he went by. He was glad to see that Otabek was taking his advice, only doing a couple small jumps, some doubles and singles. When the skaters were called off the ice, Otabek skated right up to him and stood between his legs, pulling him into a kiss. “I feel really good about this now.” Otabek whispered against his lips, kissing him again and earning a few cheers from the crowd.   
“Hey you two, get a room.” Victor teased as him and Yuuri stepped off the ice. “You’re worse than us today.”  
“What can I say, I guess my boyfriend’s cuter.” Otabek shrugged, smacking one more kiss to Yuri’s blushing cheek before pulling away. “Kidding, kidding.” He laughed as he joined them off the ice, giving Yuuri a friendly nudge in the arm while Yuri swung his legs back over the partition and dropped down.   
“Someone’s cocky today.” Yuri said, handing Otabek his skate guards and his jacket. It made him happy to see Otabek so sure of himself for once. He kind of liked to see him being possessive too. “Come on, let’s rest until you’re up.” Yuri hooked his arm around Otabek’s and lead him back to the benches, taking a seat with him and tucking himself right under his arm. “You’re gonna kill it.”  
“Thanks, Yura.” Otabek sighed, holding him close as Victor took to the ice first. “I feel really good today.”  
“You know if we keep the PDA up like this, we just might be the new Victor and Yuuri.”  
“I don’t mind. I like showing you off.” Otabek leaned his head on Yuri’s. He seemed so calm now. Even Yuri would never be able to feel so relaxed before skating at the finals. He slid his hand down from Yuri’s shoulder to his waist, scootching closer to him. “You know we’ve never had a fight before, so I guess I just get really clingy after.”  
“I like that.” Yuri took his eyes off the ice and just stopped caring about what they looked like, wrapping both arms around his partner and tucking his head into the crook of his neck.   
“I guess you’re the same way.” Otabek laughed.   
“You’re just warm. It’s cold in here, that’s all.” Yuri said, pressing closer.   
“Whatever you say, Yura. Just stay close to me.”  
Yuri’s heart thumped at that and they watched together as the three skaters before Otabek went. First, Viktor, who did amazingly, but still just barely within Otabek’s range, then Yuuri who performed about the same, and then Chris, who scored a little low. Otabek really had a chance. Maybe just at bronze, but still. A chance at a medal.   
“You ready?” Yuri asked as Chris went to the kiss and cry.   
“Yeah.” Otabek slid out of the jacket and took off the skate guards before standing up, pulling Yuri with him. “Okay.” He took a deep breath and they walked together to the edge of the ice as Otabek’s name was announced.   
“You’re gonna be great.” Yuri grinned as Otabek turned back to face him, his hands coming up to cup his face.   
“This is for you okay?” Otabek said, leaning their foreheads together. “I love you, Yura. I’ll win for both of us.”  
“I love you too.” Yuri’s heart melted and he threw his arms around Otabek’s neck when they kissed hard, hearing the crowd roar in reaction. He gave Otabek every ounce of love and encouragement that he had in him and pulled away, red-faced with wet lips and the taste of Otabek’s toothpaste in his mouth. “I’ll be right here when you’re done. Davai.”  
“Thank you.” Otabek stepped onto the ice and slid the first few feet backwards so as not to break their gaze before finally turning and letting the crowd cheer him on.   
Yuri felt smitten. If there was anyone that could be a husband to him one day, this was him. Otabek had never looked stronger. He’d never looked sexier either and he’d be a liar if he said he wasn’t insanely attracted to him at that moment. That heavy music swelled around him and Otabek moved perfectly to the rhythm, something they had worked relentlessly on. Now he knew that choreography like the back of his hand and he executed it perfectly. The first jump element was a quad, triple combination. He was a little shaky on the second landing, but still, he landed them both and kept going.   
Yuri bit his lip throughout the whole performance, his heart racing with anxiety for him. Otabek had come so far. He was executing spins he hadn’t even had the flexibility for last season, landing every jump, staying right on time with the music. It was the best he had ever performed. He wrung his hands as Otabek fought his way through the tail end of the second half. Even with his strength and endurance, he had a quad to land at the very end and a rapid scratch spin that wasn’t difficult, but Otabek struggled to find balance when he was fatigued.   
When Otabek landed that last jump, Yuri couldn’t help cheering, jumping up and pumping his fist. “YES BEKA!” He watched him go into the spin and beamed when he nailed the speed, hitting his ending position to thunderous applause and Yuri was compelled forward. “Beka!” Yuri shouted, stumbling onto the ice without skates and waving his arms. “That was amazing!”  
“Yuri!” Otabek beamed, skating over and hugging him, the crowd still cheering. “I love you so much. Holy shit, that was the cleanest I’ve ever skated.”   
“You deserved it. You work so hard.” Yuri held onto him tight. “Shit, I didn’t mean to walk onto the ice.”  
“Stupid.” Otabek teased, pressing his lips to Yuri’s forehead. “You just want me to carry you in front of all these people.” He picked Yuri up and skated him back across the few feet of ice to the edge then set him down to much more applause. “Kiss and cry?”  
“Are you sure you want me there instead of your coach?”  
“Yeah, yeah. He already knows.”   
“Okay.” Yuri grabbed his skate guards and jacket from the bench and handed them both back to Otabek before helping him into his jacket. “Ready?”  
“Yeah.” Otabek beamed, grabbing Yuri’s hand as they walked over to the kiss and cry bench.   
They sat down together and got close as they waited for the scores, Otabek’s arm around Yuri’s shoulders. Yuri could see them on the jumbotron and couldn’t help but blush at how cute they looked together in their matching jackets. Otabek looked so happy too.   
“Fuck, okay I’m nervous.” Otabek laughed, tightening his arm around Yuri.   
“Shh, it’ll be okay. It’s gonna be high.”   
“AND THE FREE SKATE SCORE FOR OTABEK ALTIN OF KAZAKHSTAN IS… 206.1! HIS COMBINED TOTAL SCORE IS OVER 3OO MOVING HIM INTO SECOND PLACE RIGHT BELOW VIKTOR NIKIFOROV!”  
“BEKA!” Yuri beamed, literally tackling him in a hug that knocked him down to his back on the bench. “No one else is going to beat that, you did it.”  
Otabek was grinning back up at him, his eyes welled up and his cheeks pink as he grabbed Yuri’s face in his hands and kissed him hard, nearly bruising their lips with the force of it, but Yuri didn’t care one bit. Otabek was going to be on the podium at the finals. This was his dream. The sound of the crowd was deafening as they kissed, but Yuri didn’t pull away from him until he had to breathe.   
“I love you.” Otabek said, still hugging him tight. “I love you so much. I couldn’t have done this without you.”  
“Come on, sit up you big softie.” Yuri teased, sitting himself back up and pulling Otabek with him. “I love you too.”  
They got up together to leave the kiss and cry, Otabek waving to the crowd as they went. He wasn’t use to having fans, but this time around, people were chanting his name.   
“Otabek!” Victor grinned, waving at them. “Great job!”  
“Thanks!” Otabek said, still smiling that crazy wide smile. He looked so fucking excited. His eyes were all bright and he was blushing. Yuri couldn’t think about a single one of his own problems right then. The person he loved just had his dream come true.


	5. Chapter Five

They took their place back on their bench and Otabek had a quick back and forth of congratulations and things with his coach before they waited anxiously for JJ to finish. He came dangerously close to knocking Otabek down to bronze, but in the end, he stayed silver with Victor in first and Yuuri Katsuki in third. They both knew that they were being obnoxious, but they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Yuri swiped a flower crown from Chris’s stash before the medal ceremony and put it on Otabek’s head. “I’m so proud of you, Beka. Just go out there and enjoy it okay?”  
“Thanks Yura.” Otabek sighed, hugging him one more time. There were a few different types of hugs Yuri would get from Otabek. There was the excited one, where he just threw his arms around his shoulders and strangled him a teensy bit, the lazy one he’d get when they were enjoying an off day on the couch, and the loving one where Otabek would hold him right against his chest and press their bodies together, one hand pressed into the small of his back always. That was the kind of hug Yuri was getting and he loved every second of it. “Thank you for being here.”  
“Don’t thank me.” Yuri laughed, relishing in his warmth. “Go get your medal.”  
Otabek gave him one last kiss, gentler this time before he had to pull away. “I’ll be right back.”  
“I’ll be right here.” Yuri watched him skate off to the center of the ice to take his place on the podium and sighed. He could feel his sadness creeping back up, but he wasn’t going to let that show. He was happy for Otabek and he wanted tonight to be about him. They could deal with funeral arrangements tomorrow. He leaned on the partition and smiled when they put the silver medal around Otabek’s neck, relishing in how incredibly happy he looked when they did it.  
“Proud of him, yeah?”  
“Huh?” Yuri whipped around and sighed. “Oh hey Chris.”  
“How are you feeling?”  
He opened his mouth to say something defensive, but then he remembered Chris was another one who’d offered to help with funeral expenses. “It’s hard, but… I feel better. I’m happy for Otabek today.”  
“Well we all know you would have been up there with him if you’d been able to skate. Send me whatever bills you can’t pay, alright? We’re all here to look out for you.”   
Yuri’s heart warmed. Even Chris seemed to genuinely care. “Thanks Chris. Actually what I need from everyone the most is to just come to the funeral. It’ll be in Moscow.”  
“Sure thing, Yuri. Just let me know the date.” Chris said, letting a hand linger on Yuri’s shoulder before he walked away.   
Yuri looked back to where they were wrapping up the podium ceremony and smiled when Otabek looked at him. He wished Grandpa could have seen this too. He knew just as well as Yuri did how hard Otabek had worked for it. The next few weeks at least were going to be really hard. He’d have the thrill of Otabek’s win to distract him for a little, but Yuri knew how depressed he was about to be, so he wanted to make the most out of the happiness he felt right then for Otabek.   
When the ceremony ended and Otabek came back to him, Yuri hung onto that excitement. He took a thousand cutesy photos with Otabek with the silly rose crown and his medal, told him he was proud of him a thousand times and when they went to talk to the press about his silver win, Yuri was right there, tucked under his arm and supporting him.   
They were the last ones in the locker room after the ceremony.   
“Do you want to go to the banquet?” Otabek asked. “We really don’t have to.”  
“Of course I do.” Yuri said, watching Otabek change back into his normal clothes. They’d have to get their suits out of the car for the banquet part. “We have to celebrate and stuff.”  
“Okay, but as soon as you want to leave, just tell me.”  
“Don’t worry about me.” Yuri glanced back towards the locker room door. “Hey, um… I-If you want me to, I can uh…” He blushed hard and looked down at his lap. Shit he was bad at initiating. “D-Do you want to go into one of the shower stalls and let me blow you?”  
Otabek froze in the middle of putting his shirt on, his arms only halfway through the sleeves. “Uh…”  
“Shit, sorry.” Yuri blushed, feeling all the blood he had in him rush to his cheeks. “That was gross, I just meant-“  
“Do you feel up to doing that?”  
“I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t.” He wanted to ride this last wave of feeling okay as long as he could.  
“I mean… Yes? Yes, that would um…” Otabek blinked and took his shirt back off. “That’d be great.”  
“Okay.” Yuri stood up and took Otabek by his wrist, leading him past the lockers to the shower stalls. He grabbed a towel on the way so he wouldn’t have to kneel on wet tile and dragged Otabek into the first one, locking the door behind them and putting the towel down on the floor. “You look nice this way.” He said, running his hands over Otabek’s chest as he started to kiss his neck, stopping his hands over Otabek’s nipples and rubbing them.   
“Yura.” He sighed in response.  
“You always tease me like this.” Yuri glanced down and bit his lip when he saw Otabek was already hard in his jeans. He really liked to tease him when he got the chance, so he brought his hand down and gently ghosted his fingertips over his bulge, his heart skipping when Otabek groaned. “Shhh, be a good boy.” He teased, getting on his toes a little to kiss his lips, his fingertips still just barely touching him.   
Otabek’s tongue came out right away, demanding some kind of satisfaction and Yuri let him take control of that part, opening his mouth and submitting to whatever Otabek’s tongue wanted to do.   
“Yuri.” Otabek breathed against his wet lips, reaching down to grab his hand and press it harder against him. “You’re literally going to kill me.”  
“Aw, but I’m having fun.”  
“If you tease me that much I’m going to die of blue balls and we’ll never have kids.”  
“Who died and made you the sperm donor?”  
Otabek rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “You’re feeling a little cocky again.”  
“Yeah well, I’m in a good mood for time being. Maybe my boyfriend just became a silver medalist, I don’t know.” Yuri shrugged, finally sinking down to his knees and unzipping Otabek’s dark jeans.   
“Oh my God, Yuriiii.” Otabek whined when he started to kiss his erection through the thin material of his briefs. “No more teasing, I’m dying.”  
“But I like the sounds you make when I tease you.” Yuri sighed, pulling down the waistband of his briefs and taking out Otabek’s cock. He gave it a few tight strokes and listened to Otabek sigh in some relief. “How’s that?”  
“Please, Yuri.” Otabek put his hands on Yuri’s head, but didn’t grip his hair too hard, trying not to mess it up, which Yuri thought was cute.   
Yuri leaned forward and swirled his tongue around Otabek’s tip, sucking on that part only for a moment.   
“Yuraaa.” Otabek groaned. “Baby, you’re killing me.”  
Yuri brought one hand up to hold his balls and sunk down a little further, moving his head forward and back to suck him. He had a little trouble taking him all the way in, but he pushed himself this time, wanting to really make Otabek feel good.   
“Hhh.” Otabek breathed, his thighs trembling a little as Yuri swallowed around him “Yura.”  
Yuri liked the sound of that, so he moved his other hand a little further back and used one finger to massage Otabek’s perineum, relishing in the sound when he moaned in response. He was pretty hard himself, but both hands were busy, so he just dealt with it.   
“Ohhh fuck.” Otabek gasped. “Yuri, don’t stop.”  
I wasn’t really planning on it, Yuri thought as he continued sucking, pressing his finger hard on Otabek’s spot to keep him squirming.  
“Nnn… Yuraaa.” He whined, his hands tightening in Yuri’s hair. “I-It’s too much with you touching me like that.”  
Good. Yuri pushed himself further and choked a tiny bit, but found a rhythm, letting Otabek slide a little ways down his throat.   
“A-Ahh.” Otabek moaned, his head falling forward. “Fuck, you’ve gotten so much better at this.”  
Yuri pulled back and swirled his tongue around his tip, looking up at Otabek to meet his eyes. He wanted him to cum fast.   
“Why do you have to look so fucking beautiful no matter what you’re doing?”  
“Because I like being able to make you hard whenever I want to.” Yuri took him back in his mouth and sucked hard, making it a little sloppy, but fast, bringing Otabek right up to the brink.   
“Fuck, Yuri I-I’m gonna cum. Do you want to pull off?”  
Yuri just kept sucking and Otabek groaned, his heart skipping a beat at the sound.   
“Yura… Yura, fuck don’t stop. Don’t stop.” Otabek tilted his head back and gasped, his thighs trembling when he came. “Oh my God.” He whimpered in a high pitched voice Yuri had never heard from him before.   
Yuri swallowed everything that Otabek released. He never minded the taste anyways, so he always liked to do that much for him.   
“You’re gonna kill me.” Otabek sighed when he finished. “Jesus.”  
Yuri wiped his mouth and stood up, pressing a kiss against Otabek’s blushing cheek. “Do you um… Do you want to go get our clothes for the banquet?”  
“Are you kidding me?” Otabek laughed pulling Yuri against him and pressing his thigh hard against the bulge in Yuri’s jeans. “Don’t you want me to take care of you?”  
Almost involuntarily, Yuri rocked back against him and whined, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks.   
“You don’t have to focus so much on me. I want to make you feel good too. I mean you feel like you’re already about to cum.”  
“I-I might be pretty close.” He hid his face in Otabek’s neck and pressed himself hard against his thigh, rocking a little back and forth to get the friction.   
“Wow, you’re really desperate.” Otabek said, pushing Yuri back a little and putting his hand over his bulge, tracing it with the tips of his fingers.   
“Oh come on, I didn’t tease you when you were this close.”  
“Fair enough.” Otabek unzipped his jeans and just dove his hand inside, taking Yuri in his hand and jacking him off hard and quick.   
“Beka.” Yuri whimpered, his knees wobbling. “U-Unhh.” He put his hands on Otabek’s shoulders. He was so fucking aroused from blowing Otabek that he was desperate to cum already, his orgasm fast approaching as his boyfriend dragged it out of him.   
“I love how you get when you’re close.”  
“Y-You just like when I’m helpless.” Yuri gasped. “Okay, I’m right there, I-I’m gonna-“ He stopped and let out a moan, his head tipping back. “I’m cumming, fuck. Hhh, fuck…” He breathed as Otabek stroked him through it. “Beka…”  
“You’re so fucking cute.” Otabek sighed, zipping Yuri’s pants back up and reaching around to give his ass a squeeze. “Let’s wash up and get ready.”  
**  
The banquet turned out to be a good decision. Yuri didn’t think he’d be able to keep his mood up for long enough, but Otabek stayed by his side every second and spun him around on the dance floor with Victor and the others the whole time. Usually, Otabek would give him shit if he tried to drink or anything, but he had a few glasses of champagne and all Otabek did was tell him not to drink too much. He ended up laughing a lot especially when Otabek decided to lift him after the DJ happened to play their song. Yuri was pretty sure Otabek tipped him to do it while he was in the bathroom, but that only made him love the moment more.   
Otabek had gotten to be a seriously better dancer in the past year. It kind of made Yuri’s mouth water watching the way he moved now. It was funny how into music he was, but it took him so long to be able to find his own rhythm.   
When the banquet ended, they drove home, both exhausted and a little sweaty. Otabek put his medal on his trophy shelf, fed the cat, and brought her to bed for Yuri to snuggle with.   
“Yay.” Yuri laughed, a little bit drunk as he watched Potya settle at the foot of the bed. “I missed her today.” He pulled on one of Otabek’s t-shirts and crawled into bed, sighing at the softness of the sheets. “Come snuggle me.”  
“I’m coming.” Otabek smiled as he changed into his pajamas. “You’re a clingy drunk.”  
“Mm, I’m not really drunk. I’m just clingy.” Yuri made grabby hands at him until he relented and came to bed, sliding in next to him with his arms open for Yuri to snuggle in to. “You’re always so warm.”  
“You should take your hair down.”  
“I don’t wanna move.”  
“I’ll do it.” Otabek said, pressing a loving little kiss to Yuri’s forehead before he gently took down his ponytail and undid the braids around his head, combing it through with his fingers.   
Yuri sighed at the feeling of having his hair played with and nuzzled his cheek against Otabek’s firm chest. “Beka?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Can you call me pet names more often? I really like it.”  
“Aw.” Otabek laughed. “What, like Baby?”  
Yuri nodded. “And call me Tiger.”  
“You’re pretty sappy when you’re drunk too, you know.”  
“I just like it.” He yawned. “You call me that sometimes in bed and it drives me crazy. Wanna hear it more.” Yuri started to mumble and pulled the blankets up over their shoulders. “I’m sleepy.”  
“Then go to sleep.”  
“Okay.” Yuri sighed. “Night, Beka.”  
“Goodnight.” Otabek smiled, sliding one hand down Yuri’s back. “Sweet dreams, Tiger.”


	6. Chapter Six

Yuri woke up the next morning feeling like shit. He’d expected to be sad again, but he didn’t really anticipate how powerful it would be. He felt like he couldn’t stand up.   
“Hey you, are you awake?” Otabek asked, his arms still wrapped around him.   
Yuri gave a weak nod and shut his eyes again.   
“You okay?”  
He shook his head.   
“I’m sorry.” Otabek sighed. “Why don’t I go pick up breakfast?”  
“I don’t feel like eating.” Yuri mumbled, hugging him a little tighter. “I don’t want to plan the funeral.”  
“I know you don’t. I’m sorry you’re going through this.” Otabek hugged him back just as tight. “What can I do to help?”  
“I don’t know. I kind of just want to rest.”  
“Okay, if that’s what you need right now.” Otabek carefully peeled himself away from Yuri’s arms and got out of bed, taking an extra blanket from his closet and laying it over the comforter to keep Yuri warm. “Sleep a little bit longer. I’m gonna go do my work out in the living room if you want to-“  
“Wait.” Yuri croaked, reaching one hand out from under the blankets. “I’ll move to the couch. I don’t want to be alone.”   
“Sure, come on. We’ll make it nice and cozy for you okay?” Otabek took the spare blanket again and let Yuri get up before he wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed the top of his head. “You’ll feel better as the day goes on. Just take it easy.”  
Yuri gave another weak nod and let Otabek take him out to the living room, curling up on the couch with the blanket. He felt sick to his stomach. How was he even going to clean out the apartment? The thought of facing that empty place made his head hurt.   
“Tell me if there’s anything you need, okay?” Otabek pushed the hair out of Yuri’s eyes and kissed him again on his forehead. “I’ll help you with all of the funeral stuff. You don’t have to do any of this alone.”  
“Okay.” Yuri said, mustering up the energy to take Otabek’s hand and kiss the center of his palm. It was kind of an inside thing that they had together. When their relationship had started to get serious, Otabek had taught him about something they did in Kazakhstan. You kiss the center of your lover’s hand, telling them that they essentially carry your heart. Yuri always liked to do that to Otabek when things were a little rough. It reassured them both.   
“Thank you.” Otabek smiled, pulling the blanket over Yuri’s shoulders. “Don’t laugh at me while I do this yoga routine, I’m not good at it yet.”  
“I won’t. You’re cute when you do that stuff.” Yuri managed to smile back and rested while Otabek went through his routines. It helped just to be in a room with him, but Yuri still didn’t know why he felt so disabled. Just the thought of standing up sounded like way too much and his chest hurt. Every time he thought about writing a eulogy, or planning the funeral, he felt like sobbing.   
When Otabek finished, he left for a few minutes so wash up and came back, dressed in pajamas again with a few spare pillows under his arms.   
“What’s that for?”  
“Well you’re obviously really depressed today.” Otabek sighed, walking over and tossing the extra pillows and blankets around him. “I thought maybe I could help? You should take some time just to rest anyways, so why don’t I just put a movie on and we can be lazy today?”  
Yuri could have cried again. “That’d be really nice, Beka. I-I need that I think.”  
“Okay, just promise you’ll let me feed you in a little while.” Otabek said, waiting for Yuri to sit up so he could sit down next to him. “Here, I got you.” He cooed as Yuri rested his head down on his lap, pulling Yuri’s blanket back up to cover his shoulders and kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “Comfy?”  
Yuri nodded and hugged one of Otabek’s forearms like a teddy bear, letting his hand rest on his chest.   
Otabek flipped through a few movies then settled on Blades of Glory because it was Yuri’s favorite. “If you want, you can just give me a list of things that you want for the funeral and I can take care of it. I don’t know if you’re equipped to handle planning something like that right now.”  
“No, I need to do it.” Yuri grimaced. “But if you could help me that would be nice.”  
“Whatever I can do. Here, lift your head.”  
Yuri did it and let Otabek take all of his hair out from under him when he settled back down. “Thanks.” He breathed as Otabek ran his hands through his hair and started to braid it in little sections just to help him feel better. “That feels nice.” He shut his eyes and let the movie fill the background, taking comfort in the familiar jokes and dialogue while Otabek’s fingers ran through his hair. “Beka?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Um… C-Could you touch me? I need something to make me feel good right now. I think it would pull me up a bit.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“I mean, it helped last time.” Yuri blushed, looking off to the side. He felt kind of ashamed asking, but he needed to feel something and sex could probably do that for him. “Nothing crazy, just… Could you?” He took the hand that Otabek had on his chest and slid it down over his stomach to his crotch, pressing it down on himself under the blanket.   
Otabek looked concerned, but he bent down and kissed Yuri’s forehead, rubbing his hand over Yuri through the leggings he had on. “Just tell me to stop if you want me to.”  
Yuri nodded and pushed his hips up against his hand, trying to get more friction. It felt good being touched, but he wasn’t responding like he usually did.   
“Yuri?”  
“It’s fine.” He said, shoving the leggings down and pushing Otabek’s hand over him without the clothes to block it.   
Otabek wrapped a hand around his cock and stroked it, but nothing much was happening. “Baby, this isn’t helping you. I know that you want-“  
“Just keep going please.” Yuri croaked, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to just focus on Otabek’s hand. Why the fuck wasn’t he getting hard? Was he fucking broken now?   
“Yuri, it’s okay.”  
“Beka, just keep doing it please?”  
“But you’re not-“  
“It’s fine. I’m just not there yet.”  
“Yuri-“  
“I SAID IT’S FINE, BEKA!” Yuri snapped, sitting himself up and whipping around to glare at him only to be met with the wide hurt eyes he’d seen when Otabek cried yesterday. Did he seriously just scream at him again? “Fuck.” Yuri cried, yanking the blanket back up to cover himself and pulling him into a hug before he could get mad. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you, fuck.” He squeezed tight and buried his head in the crook of Otabek’s neck. “Don’t hate me please. I-I don’t know why I keep fucking up like this. It was an accident.”  
“Baby, it’s okay.” Otabek murmured, hugging him close and kissing the top of his head, his expression fading back to one of concern. “You’re hurting. I know you don’t mean it.”  
“I’m such a piece of shit, fuck, I keep taking this out on you and you haven’t done anything wrong.” Yuri pulled back and looked at Otabek with wet eyes. “You don’t have to keep doing this. I-I can deal with this back at the apartment if you’re-“  
“Yura, stop. It’s okay. Seriously.” Otabek pressed a kiss against his cheek. “Why don’t we run you a bubble bath or something? I’ll stay if you want me to, or you can have some time alone. Whatever you want.”  
“Why are you still being so nice to me?”  
“Yuri, you’re grieving. It’d be weird if you weren’t lashing out in some way, especially knowing you.”  
“W-Why um…” Yuri looked down at himself and sniffled. “Why can’t I-“  
“You’re depressed, so it’s natural.” Otabek sighed, bringing his hands up to cup Yuri’s face. “I hate seeing you so upset. Can I run you that bath at least?”  
Yuri nodded and wiped his eyes, pulling back to get his leggings back on before he stood up and let Otabek lead him to the bathroom. Otabek’s apartment had a really huge bath tub that Yuri loved, so maybe that would actually make him feel better. Fuck, he felt so embarrassed. What kind of seventeen year old couldn’t get hard like that?   
Otabek ran the bath for him and filled it with bubbles and scented oils. Something Yuri always kind of liked about him was he had this hidden feminine side that came out in weird ways like the pile of bath products he kept in the closet, or the glitter he put in his hair when he went to clubs.   
Yuri stepped in and looked at Otabek with pink cheeks as the water rose. “Do you want to get in with me? There’s room.”  
“Do you want me to?”  
Yuri wiped his eyes and nodded, folding his legs, so Otabek had room. He felt fucking awful for snapping at him a second time, but Otabek really didn’t seem mad or anything. He stripped himself down and got into the bath with him. It really was a nice tub. The faucet was against the wall and poured into the middle, so they could both sit comfortably on opposite sides. Otabek sat across from him and had Yuri put his legs over his, putting his hands on his calves as the water rose up to their stomachs. “Do you feel a little better?”  
Yuri nodded and took the hair tie from around his wrist, so he could put his hair up in a messy bun. “Are you sure you’re not mad at me?”  
“I’m not mad.” Otabek assured him, putting his hands on Yuri’s foot to massage his pressure points.   
“Fuck, you don’t have to do that.” Yuri sighed, tipping his head back. Otabek had a broken foot a few years ago and he’d gone through a ton of physical therapy, so he knew all these neat little tricks that felt amazing.   
“Shh, it’s fine. It’ll help.” Otabek tickled the bottom of his foot and Yuri squeaked, jerking hard enough to splash some of the water out. “See?” He laughed, reaching over to turn off the faucet.   
“You’re mean.” Yuri smiled, lifting his foot up and holding it to Otabek’s face. “Sometimes I think you have a kink for this.”  
“Get your blisters away from me.”   
“You like it.” Yuri shrugged as he put it back down.   
“So the key to cheering you up is seriously tickling?” Otabek said with raised eyebrows, reaching for Yuri’s foot again.   
“It is not.” Yuri jerked his foot away from him, splashing more outside the tub and moving forward to crawl on all fours towards Otabek. “You’re just good at making me laugh.”  
“You look so fucking cute with your hair up like that.” Otabek cupped Yuri’s face in both hands and kissed him with parted lips, his tongue poking out to open Yuri’s mouth before he stopped himself and pulled back, blushing. “Sorry, I’m not trying to initiate something right now or anything, I just-“  
Yuri cut him off with a kiss of his own and pushed his tongue into Otabek’s mouth. His heart still felt heavy and he was far from feeling okay about everything going on, but he knew how much he loved this boy in front of him. Otabek, who came to get him when he broke down in front of thousands of people, who took him in when he had nowhere to go, who loved him, who took care of him even when Yuri wasn’t treating him like he deserved to be. He translated all of it into the kiss as he licked Otabek’s mouth open and kissed him deep, his hands planted on the bottom of the tub on either side of Otabek’s hips.   
“Yura?” Otabek blushed when they parted, his face redder than Yuri had ever seen it.   
“I just…” Yuri sighed. “Beka, there’s so much happening right now, but I love you a lot and I just want you to feel that.”  
“I know you do. You don’t have to reassure me so much.” Otabek smiled and scooped up some of the bubbles to plant on the tip of Yuri’s nose.   
Yuri rolled his eyes and wiped it off, pressing another kiss to Otabek’s jaw. “I can’t believe I used to think you were cool.”  
“Hey you still think I’m cool.”  
“We’re in a bubble bath together.”  
“Bubbles are cool.” Otabek kissed him one more time then just pressed their foreheads together. “Hey, we’ll get you through all this together, alright? We’ll keep making you laugh. We’ll keep you active.”  
“Thank you.” Yuri said and he really, really meant that. He didn’t know what he would do if he didn’t have this amazing person supporting him. He had to glance down out of embarrassment when he said the next few words, but he meant them just as much. “I love you.”  
“Aw.” Otabek laughed, kissing the side of Yuri’s nose. “I love you too, Tiger.”


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this one is hella short don't roast me

The next week was hard. Really hard. They got the plans for the funeral together with some help from Victor, Yuuri, Chris, and Yakov who all pitched in on expenses. Victor it turned out was actually really helpful in finding everything they needed. Him and Yuuri came along to pick the coffin and headstone just to make Yuri feel a little less alone during the whole thing and they covered most of the expenses too.   
Yuri eventually composed himself enough to go meet Yakov at his home rink and talk about his career a few days before the funeral. He’d lost just about every sponsor he had and he would be able to win his way back into competition no problem next season, but finding the financial resources would be really hard without sponsors. He was going to have to apply for aid from the ISU.   
The hardest thing he had to do was write the eulogy. With no other family to speak at the funeral service, the burden was on Yuri and it nearly killed him writing out his speech.   
The day before the service, Otabek helped Yuri clean out the apartment and used his savings to pay the last rent check on it, so it could be put back on the market. They donated all of his grandpa’s clothes and packed away the sentimentals and valuables for safekeeping. After the funeral, Yuri would sit down with that lawyer to find out his inheritance, so he was hoping he’d be able to pay everyone back after he got that money.   
“Just rest up, Yuri. Tomorrow’s going to be a hard day.” Otabek sighed when he turned the light out and crawled into bed with him.   
Yuri rolled over to snuggle into him immediately and held on tight. The one thing keeping him from completely spiraling was living with Otabek. They were starting to settle into some cute domestic routines and that made him really happy. Otabek would make breakfast and Yuri would make dinner. Around noon, Otabek always did his cute little work out routines in the living room and Yuri would sit with Potya and read in the corner of the room while he did them. Some mornings he woke up with that heavy feeling that made him want to lie in bed all day, but Otabek always dragged him out and got him back on his feet.   
“You okay?” Otabek asked, running his hand down Yuri’s back under the covers.   
“I don’t want to do it.” Yuri mumbled. “I’m gonna break down in front of everyone.”  
“No one’s going to judge you. It’s a funeral.” Otabek gave him a squeeze and kissed the top of his head. “I’ll be right there for you. We’ll all go together to Victor and Yuuri’s afterwards.”  
“Yeah.” Yuri tucked his head into Otabek’s neck and kissed it. “Can you stand with me while I do the eulogy? I know I’m gonna cry, but I want to make sure I can get through it.”  
“Sure Baby, whatever you need tomorrow.” Otabek murmured, one hand coming up to the back of Yuri’s head. “Get some sleep okay? I’ll wake you up in the morning.”  
Yuri nodded and took one of Otabek’s hands, bringing it to his lips to kiss his palm again. “Thank you for everything you’ve been doing for me, Beka. Seriously. I love you.”  
“I love you too, Tiger.” Otabek said, his cheeks pink from Yuri kissing his hand. “You’re making me blush too much lately.”  
“I like it.” Yuri managed a small smile for the first time that day and shut his eyes. “Sleep tight, Beka.”  
**  
In the morning, Yuri slept as long as he could before Otabek dragged him out of bed to get ready. It all still felt sort of like a dream. Like he was just sleeping over at Otabek’s and later he’d go home and dinner for Grandpa, get all the chores done, but after today, it would be undeniably real.   
“You look great.” Otabek said as he fixed Yuri’s tie, planting a kiss on his forehead. “Don’t worry about what anyone thinks about you today okay? This is your time to grieve. You can cry all you need to.”  
“Okay.” Yuri sighed, tugging on the sleeves of his suit. It had been a little while since he wore it. It felt bigger somehow. “You’re driving?”  
“Yup. We’ll go meet everybody there. Are you okay?”  
He nodded and stepped forward to hug Otabek one more time, squeezing him tight and inhaling the comforting scent of his cologne. He wished they could just stay there. Stand and hold each other for the rest of the day, breathing in that nice smell and feeling each other’s warmth until it was all over, but they couldn’t. “Let’s go.”


	8. Chapter Eight

Yuri wasn’t a religious person. None of them were, but he hoped that day more than anything that there really was a God and a heaven somewhere. He’d kept his composure at the start of the ceremony, greeting everybody at the church doors and thanking them all for coming. Victor stopped to hug him on his way in which almost brought him to tears, but he still managed to keep them down. He almost had to tune out the priest when he started to speak and he had to keep his eyes away from the open casket. It broke his heart too much, but Otabek was good about comforting him, making sure not to draw too much attention. He just kept an arm around his shoulders and squeezed him when he knew he was close to tears.  
Soon, it was time for Yuri to speak and he walked to the podium, his hand sweating in Otabek’s grip. It wasn’t a big crowd, but everyone they knew had shown up. Yakov and Lilia, all of the skaters, even Leo, Guang Hong, and Seung Gil. He hadn’t thought they’d fly all the way back just to support him.   
“Um. I’m not very good at these kinds of things.” Yuri spoke into the microphone, looking over at the open casket where his grandfather rested. He looked so at peace, but so pale at the same time. He didn’t know how to feel about it. “I-I just wanted to say a few things about Grandpa and the kind of person that he was.” There was a lump in his throat already, but he felt Otabek let go of his hand and put an arm around his shoulders instead and that made him feel a little better. “When I was four, my mom left. I don’t know where she is. I don’t know why. I never knew my dad. But ever since I can remember, Grandpa was the one who put food on the table and took care of me and went back to work, so we could afford for me to skate. H-He um… H-He would be at every competition just to be supportive.” Yuri croaked. “Before he got sick, he would just um… H-He would just refuse to miss a single one even when I told him to stay home, he just wouldn’t and when he got too sick to come to every single one, he watched them all on TV.”   
Yuri bit his lip and wondered if he should talk about the next part. It was deeply personal, but he felt like he wouldn’t be doing him justice if he didn’t share some of the most important moments they’d shared together. “The only time in my life I was ever afraid to tell Grandpa something was when me and Otabek started dating. Even though we were sure he probably knew about me already, I thought he’d never let us see each other because of the laws and because of my safety.” Yuri swallowed and reached up to wipe his eyes, leaning on Otabek as he spoke. “But when we told him together, Grandpa just laughed at me and said he thought we started dating months ago.” Yuri laughed a little bit at that even with his wet eyes and felt Otabek press a kiss to the top of his head. “Now it feels kind of weird kicking my feet up in his lap when Grandpa’s not there to make fun of us. I’m trying to learn how to cook as well as he did, but so far, no matter what, I um…” He swallowed the lump in his throat and wiped his eyes one more time. “I-I just miss him. I wish we’d had more time and I wish that I got to say goodbye, but with all of you here, I think um…” Yuri’s mouth wobbled and he had to stop for a moment, a few small cries escaping his lips before he fought it back. “I-I think that he knows how much he meant to me. So thank you guys for coming here and caring about him. I-I’m sorry I can’t say anymore.” He sniffled and stuffed the paper with his notes back into his pocket, turning to hug Otabek once before stepping down and letting the priest take back over.   
“You did great, Yura.” Otabek assured him, pulling Yuri right into his arms when they sat down so he could let out all the tears he’d choked back. “It’s almost over.”  
Yuri just shut his eyes and muffled his sobs in Otabek’s shoulders for the next few minutes, not wanting to disturb any part of the ceremony, but unable to contain himself.   
Since there wasn’t anyone else to speak, the ceremony ended quickly and the procession to the ceremony started. Otabek and Yuri drove right behind the hearse and lead everyone else the few blocks down to where Nikolai would be buried. That part was even harder than having to give the eulogy. Everyone who came added one small shovel of dirt, as was traditional, and soon, Yuri watched them lower his grandfather into the ground.   
“All that’s left is a little reception, now okay?” Otabek said once the burial had finished and everyone started to disperse a little to head to Victor’s place. “You can just relax and hopefully everyone will cheer you up a little.”  
Yuri gave a tired nod and watched as everyone headed back to their cars. “Will you go skating with me later?”  
“You feel up to that?”  
“Yeah… I want to work on that pair skate idea. I think it’ll help me.”  
“Okay, sure. We’ll go tonight.”  
“Okay.” Yuri took a deep breath and looked off towards the parking lot. “Let’s go to Victor’s.”  
**  
“So how have you been holding up?” Victor asked while people mingled throughout the apartment, his arm slung around Yuuri Katuski’s shoulders as Yuri sat on the couch in a similar position with Otabek. “I think the service went really well. You did a good job.”  
“Thanks.” Yuri sighed. “I feel a little better now that it’s over.”  
“Well that’s good. Do you guys want to come over here for dinner tomorrow night? We figured you’d want to get out of the house and stuff.”  
“Um, yeah, that’d actually be nice. Is Yuuri cooking?”  
“If you want me to.” Yuuri smiled. “I mean, yeah, Victor can’t really do it. Katsudon?”  
“Yeah I haven’t had it in a while.” Yuri smiled back and leaned his head on Otabek’s shoulder. “Thank you guys for helping so much. Enjoy me being all mushy and nice while it lasts.”  
“You’re always nice and mushy to me.” Otabek said and Yuri actually laughed a little at that. “Your laugh is cute.”  
“You’re being way too extra today.” Yuri sighed, snuggling into him a little bit.   
“Well you’re being too adorable, so.” Otabek shrugged and planted a kiss on the top of his head. Yuri was always surprised at how well Otabek read him. He knew when he needed space, when he needed attention, and when jokes would help.   
“You two are so cute.” Victor said, looking to Yuri and pouting. “Why don’t you ever call me adorable?”  
“Your ego doesn’t need more inflating.” Yuuri teased, but he planted a kiss on Victor’s cheek anyways. “You’re a little cute.”  
Yuri rolled his eyes and just hugged Otabek’s arm. “I’m really sleepy.”  
“People are gonna be here for a few hours, do you want to take a nap in the guest room?” Yuuri asked, cocking his head towards the door for it.   
“Would that be rude of me?”  
“You’re fine.” Victor shrugged. “Go ahead. We’ll make sure no one bothers you.”  
“Thanks.” Yuri stood up and pulled Otabek with him. “Will you come with me?”  
“Yeah of course.”  
They walked off together to the guest room and shut themselves inside. Yuri really had no idea how much Victor must be making a year because the guest room looked like a master bedroom. Yuri toed off his shoes, untied his tie, and slid out of his jacket, hanging it on the foot of the bed before crawling on top of the covers and spreading out. “Come spoon me.”  
Otabek slid out of his shoes and jacket as well and joined him on the bed, his arms wrapping around Yuri’s waist to pull him close. “So you’re feeling better?”  
“Yeah.” Yuri sighed. “I feel like I have some closure now.”  
“I’m glad.” Otabek pressed his lips to the back of Yuri’s neck. “I’ll cheer you up later. We’ll have fun skating, yeah?”   
“Mhm.” Yuri smiled and rolled over in Otabek’s arms, pressing in against his chest and wrapping his own arms around the other boy’s neck. “Thanks for being so helpful today. I promise I’ll do something really nice to make up for it all when I’m back on my feet.”  
“Don’t worry about me. I know you’d do the same.” Otabek shifted down a little bit and pressed his lips against Yuri’s, warm and comforting like always.  
Yuri kissed him back and shut his eyes, relishing in that warmth and moving forward to keep their lips together when he felt Otabek pull back, one hand sliding up to the back of his head. “Keep kissing me.” He whispered, nuzzling his nose against Otabek’s.   
Otabek smiled at him and did what Yuri asked, kissing him with parted lips this time and prodding just the tip of his tongue in to Yuri’s mouth.  
Yuri wasn’t after sex, or anything, but being kissed like that just made everything else fade away. Otabek kissed him with a gentleness that made him feel safe and loved and Yuri just wanted to feel that for a little while. They stayed that way for the next half hour, just sharing kisses and holding each other until Yuri started to nod off.   
“I’ll wake you up in an hour.” Otabek whispered, planting one last kiss on Yuri’s forehead. “Rest up.”


	9. Chapter Nine

Yuri was able to regroup after resting and said goodbye to everyone as they left the reception, thanking Victor and Yuuri tons for hosting and for everything else before they went home to change and headed to the ice rink.   
“This is the music I want us to skate to.” Yuri blushed as he hit play on the stereo while they stood on the ice. It was after hours, so they could get in, but no one else would be coming in to bother them. The song he’d picked out was one that Otabek had shown him when they first started dating by a band called Turbo Fruits.   
“You want to skate to this?” Otabek laughed. “I didn’t know you liked it so much.”  
“I loved it.” Yuri shrugged, skating back and taking Otabek’s hands. “I have a lot of choreography ideas, but I want to see how many moves we can do before we set any of that. Can you lift me?”  
“Yeah of course.” Otabek smacked a kiss against Yuri’s cheek and slid back, gesturing for Yuri to come and try it.   
Yuri backed up a little bit more and took the head start, skating fast towards Otabek until he was close enough to jump. “Whoa.” He laughed when Otabek lifted him above his head, struggling a little to keep himself straight from the laughter. He hadn’t expected Otabek to do it right away. “I didn’t think you’d do it this well.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Otabek set him back down and raised his eyebrows. “I have way more upper body strength than you, you know.”  
“I know, but still.” He blushed. “What else do you think you can do?”  
“Can I swing you around?”  
“I mean, yeah, but don’t kill me or anything.”  
“I’ll do my best.”  
Otabek turned out to be an even better dance partner than Yuri had expected. He had all of that fucking strength, so he could throw Yuri high enough to land quads and lift him easily. Yuri found himself laughing so much that he could barely focus on all the moves. Otabek was just so cute and funny, always messing with him between trials, tickling him, or spinning him a little too fast, so he could catch him as he fell. Yuri really felt happy again.   
“Okay we’re gonna have to start those stretch routines every day again.” Yuri laughed, coming out of a Bielman and watching as Otabek struggled just to get halfway to the position.  
“How the fuck do you get your leg above your head?” Otabek said, letting go of his foot and going into a camel spin instead.   
“Ballet, Bitch.” Yuri teased, skating in circles around him. “We’ll get you there.”  
“I’m not going to let you pull one of my muscles again.”  
“That was one time.”  
“Once is way too many.” Otabek said as he stopped spinning and reached out for Yuri’s hand, pulling him in when he grabbed it.   
“You can do splits now though.”  
“Barely.”   
“It’s still good.” Yuri put his hands on Otabek’s shoulders, so he wouldn’t fall when he got on his toes and gave him a kiss on the tip of his nose. “I’ll help you with the laybacks.”  
“Can’t we just do camels and sit spins?” Otabek whined, leaning his forehead against Yuri’s. “Be nice to me. I’m not a rubber band like you.”  
“Camel spins are ugly, we’re just gonna stretch you out some more.”  
“Isn’t that my job?”  
“What?”  
Otabek gave Yuri’s ass a pinch and he squeaked, smacking Otabek’s hand away.   
“You’re gross.”  
“But I’m right.”  
“Still gross.” Yuri rolled his eyes, but he let Otabek put both hands back on his waist. “Do you think I’ll really be able to come back next season?”  
“Of course you will. It’ll be a little hard financially, but we both know you’ll podium at every competition.” Otabek pulled him into a hug and squeezed. “Everyone still loves you. Your fans will still be there in a few months when we start again.”  
“Will you do this pair skate with me as our exhibition at the beginning of the season?”  
“Do I have to lift my leg above my head?”  
“Yes.”  
“Yuri.” Otabek sighed. “Fine. Yes. You’re gonna do all this yoga shit with me though.”  
“I don’t mind.” Yuri shrugged, pressing a little kiss against Otabek’s jaw. “I think we’re going to be spending a lot more time together anyways.”  
They ended up skating for hours, eventually getting distracted from the routine and just dancing to all the songs that were on Yuri’s playlist. Otabek was really into the lifts, so he kept picking Yuri up every chance he got and still, Yuri just couldn’t stop laughing. He felt happy. Even with Grandpa gone, this was a new chapter for their lives, the beginning of his shared life with Otabek. He was young, but he knew deep in his heart that this relationship was real and he loved this person with all he had. They stayed on the ice until they were too exhausted to continue and drove home, crawling in to bed together and clinging to one another like it would be impossible to sleep apart. Otabek kept those strong arms around Yuri’s small frame, protecting him, and Yuri pressed tight against his firm chest, both exchanging mushy little declarations of love as they fell asleep, the kind Yuri would have been too embarrassed to hear, or say, just a few months ago. After they fell asleep, there was only one thing left to do.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finale Y'all

In the morning, they got dressed again in nice clothes and headed out to meet with Nikolai’s lawyer for Yuri’s inheritance. The money was enough for them to live off of for years and certainly for Yuri to compete. There had been nearly half a million in savings left for him plus some land out in the country that could be sold. Yuri was overwhelmed receiving that much, but then the lawyer set a small black box on the table.   
“What’s that?” Yuri swallowed. “There can’t possibly be more.”  
“It’s a family heirloom.” The attorney explained. “He wanted you to have it. The will says for you to give it to whoever you think deserves it.”  
Yuri took the box and flipped it open, his face turning red when he saw the diamond ring. He’d only seen it once before when he was young and had gone to the bank with his Grandpa to put it in a safety deposit box. It was the only heirloom in the family and it was an engagement ring. A gold band, embedded with diamonds. His heart pounded the second he saw it, knowing exactly what he would do. The meeting wrapped up quick after that and Yuri couldn’t even wait to get home. He stopped once they reached the parking lot and grabbed Otabek’s wrist. “Give me your hand.”  
“What?” Otabek held it out.   
“Here.” Yuri blushed, feeling his face burn red as he opened up the little box again and slid the ring onto Otabek’s finger. “I-I’m not proposing or anything. We’re too young and we’ll have to move somewhere else if we get married one day, but um… I-I want you to have this.”  
“Yura…” Otabek blinked, his cheeks turning pink as well. “You don’t have to give me this. It belongs to your family, you should-“  
“I need you to have it, Beka.” Yuri said as he shut the box and put it in his pocket. “I-I need to know that you’re as invested in this as I am. I love you. I want to get married one day and I want to know if that’s how you feel too.”  
“Of course I feel that way.” Otabek grinned, looking down at the ring. “Holy shit, Yuri.”  
“We should get it fitted for you.”  
“Y-Yeah um… Yeah, we should.” He said, his voice wobbling as he stared at his hand with that goofy smile plastered on his face. “I can’t believe you want me to wear this.”  
“Is it too much?”  
“No.” Otabek yanked him into a hug and nearly suffocated him with how tight he squeezed. “I love you so fucking much, Yura. I promise I’m never taking this off.”  
“Are you crying?”  
“A little.” Otabek laughed, pulling back and looking at Yuri with pink eyes. “Don’t tell anyone what a wimp I’ve been lately.”  
“Hey you’re not the one that cried in front of a million people.” Yuri cupped Otabek’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together, looking into the deep brown eyes that brought him so much comfort and warmth. “So we’re in this, long haul yeah? You’re gonna be waking up next to me for a long time.”  
“Nothing would make me happier.”  
“I snore you know.”  
“Music to my ears.”  
“Beka.” Yuri snickered, finally turning his head and kissing him hard with too much tongue and clacking teeth, but neither one of them cared. “We probably shouldn’t get it on in a parking lot.” Yuri laughed when they pulled away, red faced and out of breath.   
“I am literally so in love with you that we could fuck right on this asphalt and I would be fine with it.”  
“Okay well I’m not, so take me home.” Yuri said, smacking one wet kiss to Otabek’s cheek before he pulled away to get in the car. “You better earn that ring, Beka. If you don’t make me see stars, I’m taking it back.”  
Otabek’s face turned a little redder and he hurried to get into the driver’s seat, gesturing for Yuri to hurry up as well. “Yura, please don’t ever challenge me like that.”  
“Why not?”  
“You’re not going to skate for a week after this.”

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it this far, thank you for reading!! Please leave me comments and things, I'm always tryna improve and if you really liked it please share it! This one took me a really long time sooOooOo


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